It is your human right to have a fruity vagina

This could literally be your vagina

We all know vaginas are gross things that are bad and wrong and also smell and and taste and look gross, but did you also know that vaginas aren’t fruity enough? FACT.

Thank godfully two bros are here to educate us on the facts and rights of our human vaginas.

Austen Heinz and Gilad Gome of Cambrian Genomics and Personalized Probiotics recently pitched a supplement at a tech conference in San Jose that will not only prevent yeast infections, but will make your crotch smell like peaches!

The reason behind this innovation is, naturally, feminism. Ahem, I mean “personal empowerment” and “human rights.”

“The idea is personal empowerment,” Heinz reportedly said. “We think it’s a fundamental human right to not only know your code and the code of the things that live on you but also to rewrite that code and personalize it,” Gome added.

If nothing else, Heinz and Gome have an understanding of current feminist discourse that rivals 80 per cent of American feminist/liberal websites, feminist Facebook pages and Men Who Think They Know Things About Feminism.

I mean, it’s pretty clear that women would be better off, human-rights-wise, if they were empowered by fruitier vaginas. In general, if women were less like humans and more like sexually appealing doll-like things for men-who-don’t-like-human-women to be pleased and unoffended by, that would probably help with our having more human rights that would empower us as human beings.

So just in case you were beginning to feel like your vagina was maybe an ok part of your body, bros are here to remind you that nope.

This has all left me to wonder whether Heinz and Gome have ever encountered a real vagina. Because all the men I know like the way vaginas taste and smell because, you know, they are grownup men who are neither 12, nor do they hate human women and women’s human bodies. Weeeeird.

One can only imagine the ways in which an individual woman would feel individually and personally empowered by a fruity-smelling vagina. After all, women are always going around thinking and complaining about their non-fruity vaginas for no apparent reason aside from their deep-seated, innate, biological desire to smell like fruit. Especially on the inside of their bodies. Where it really counts. Fruitiness-wise.

I for one am certain that if my vag smelled more like peaches or, I don’t know, maybe a nice lasagna or something (I mean, who doesn’t love the smell of lasagna?), I would feel less at risk of being raped or murdered by a man and more able to pay my rent and have access to abortions, etc. Just like all the rest of you, I remember how back in the 50s when women douched, they didn’t get sexually harassed in the workplace and made just as much money as men did, too. Certainly they never got beat to smithereens by their husbands.

Oh to be a human. With rights that humans have. It’s empowering, I tell ya.

Meghan Murphy
Meghan Murphy

Founder & Editor

Meghan Murphy is a freelance writer and journalist. She has been podcasting and writing about feminism since 2010 and has published work in numerous national and international publications, including New Statesman, Vice, Al Jazeera, The Globe and Mail, I-D, Truthdig, and more. Meghan completed a Masters degree in the department of Gender, Sexuality and Women’s Studies at Simon Fraser University in 2012 and lives in Vancouver, B.C. with her dog.

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  • corvid

    Why no supplement for dicks? Those deodorant-for-men companies should partner with these guys on this one. It could have a name like “Magnum” or “Dick Spice.”

    The implication that women should smell like food is really disturbing. Food is something you consume, and so are… women? Yeah guys, we knew you thought that.

    • jo

      Whoever wants women’s sexual organs to smell like fruit can’t really be attracted to women. Imagine going down on a woman and suddenly, strong pure fruit smell instead of human smell…what a turn off!

      If these guys want sexual organs that smell like fruit, I propose that they ingest banana perfume pills for their dicks instead. Do it to yourself if you like it, guys.

  • In general more things should smell like lasagna. Not sure about private parts though. I’m pretty sure private parts are supposed to smell… well, clean, and that’s it.

    Still, what about my private part? Shouldn’t it smell like peaches too? Why aren’t they coming up with penis perfume that smells like peaches so I can join in the fun? This is just pure misandry, make no bones about it. How dare they deprive me of my human rights of having my private part smell like peaches… men are so marginalized in today’s society… *sobs*

    #whataboutthemen #peachesforpenises #catsagainstfeminism

    • Meghan Murphy

      Thank you for including *most* of the relevant hashtags, Francois. #lasagnacats #Garfieldsinfavourofvaginas #humansforlasagnacatsrights

    • Meghan Murphy

      BUT SERIOUSLY. Penises that aren’t healthy or clean smell. Vaginas that aren’t healthy or clean smell. Healthy, clean, genitals are just fine as is.

  • Aidan Brumsickle

    This product makes so much sense, because the most important thing about a woman’s vagina is its scent. Also, it must be so flattering to know that these thoughtful men care about you your vagina.

    end sarcasm section

    I’m imagining a computer program that gives you product ideas that ends up with stuff like this.

    Welcome, please select a type of insecurity you would like to take advantage of.
    [1] You body is not a Platonic ideal
    [2] Terror level is at shit-your-pants brown
    [3] Your children are in constant mortal peril
    [4] You're not rich enough!
    [5] Not enough people know that you're rich and irresponsible with money.
    [6] Someone somewhere might think you're gay.
    > 1
    You have selected Body Image, or, "Please hate yourself". Please select:
    [1] You don't have white person hair.
    [2] You weigh too much.
    [3] You weigh too little.
    [4] Other people are judging the most private parts of your body, and so can you!
    > 4
    You have selected Inappropriate Shit That's None of Our Business. Please select:
    [1] Your breasts are wrong.
    [2] Your vagina is wrong.
    > 2
    Generating product... [loading smelling_like_a_human_is_morally_wrong.exe]
    Generating bullshit marketing... [loading women_laughing_at_peaches.png]
    Adjusting hypocrisy levels... [engaging Empowerment.psd]
    Done! PR statement released on Twitter and Facebook.

    • Sabine

      Aidan: INSPIRED!!!!

  • The Real Cie

    Thank the Goddess the bros out there are thinking about my vagina and the fact that it should smell like a fruit salad but doesn’t. I don’t know how I’ve lived this long without having a fruity vagina.

  • Rick

    I prefer the scent of bland communist gruel myself.

  • marv

    Profiteers are cruel masters. My fingers are crossed this time it will be a fruitless venture.

  • Derrington

    These guys are really missing a trick. If they marketed a pill that makes semen taste of vanilla icecream that would sort two human rights issues out: our right to eat all the icecream we want without getting huge and menz right to have as many blowjobs as they can handle. What a marketing fail and two human rights abused by one company. Lets report them!

    • Wow, that’s an awesome idea. You’d get all the dudebros and PUAs on your side with this one. Go Kickstart it right away. 🙂

    • Candy

      That pill really needs to exist, to be honest.

      • Or men could just stop asking for oral sex. Crazy, right?

        Personally, I find all human genitalia kind of gross, the same way I find anuses gross. I do not that makes me a human hater. I think it is okay to find genitals gross so long as you do not think one kind of genitalia is better than other kinds. Pornography pushes the idea that there is only one kind of vagina that is correct and that all other vaginas are wrong in some way. Then you have the general cultural belief that penises equal toughness and the fact that the creators of this product think it is necessary to improve vaginas but not penises is telling.

        Our society clearly does think that some kinds of genitalia are superior to others and I understand how that can be harmful and oppressive, but has anyone really been harmed by people who are simply grossed out by genitalia in general. Call me immature and prudish if you want, but I do not see how I am any more immature than people who are grossed out by blood, vomit, urine and faeces. I am simply have not been desensitised to the same extent that other people have been.

        A few of you may be sick of me ranting about all the sex acts I dislike, but if I cannot complain about them here, where can I complain about them? The rest of the world has totally normalised this one-sided sex act, to the point where it is considered as essential to relationships as kissing is and not doing it is likely to confine women to lifelong celibacy.

        Healthly relationships do not revolve around people “servicing” or “pleasing” their partners, even if the partners swap roles. Sexual activities should be mutually pleasurable and free from power dynamics. Usually, when one person regularly pleases another so that they can get something back from them later, we call it work. Sexual relationships should not be like work. They should not be a sequence of exchanges. I know relationships require compromise, but physical and sexual boundaries are the sort of thing people should not compromise with.

        • Meghan Murphy

          “Personally, I find all human genitalia kind of gross, the same way I find anuses gross. I do not that makes me a human hater.”

          Well it’s not like I find random penises attractive. I find random penises gross. But I don’t find my partner’s penis ‘gross,’ because I love him and am attracted to him. Goes the same way for men with female partners and their vaginas. If you are into someone and into participating in sexual acts with that person I don’t think you should find their genitals ‘gross.’ And yeah, most adult men I know are into regular, human, vaginas as is. The kinds of guys who are uncomfortable or grossed out by women’s vaginas are young, inexperienced men/douchebags.

          Not all sex acts are going to be literally pleasurable — physically — for both partners. Like, it’s not like when a man pleasures a woman with something other than his dick that’s technically giving him direct physical pleasure, but you still do it because you want your partner to feel good and maybe it turns you on in a brain-sense too. (I realize this is all kind of vague but I hope you’re picking up what I’m putting down…)

        • Lee

          I really appreciate you saying this. If penises were under the same visual scrutiny of vaginas… men would have to get their penis-veins botoxed regularly, their ball-sacks lifted, their circumcisions redone… genitals are weird and goofy, and not exactly sanitary — animal, human, whatever.

          ‘Cute’ genitals are for babies, which is an utterly insane thing to be trending with adults.

        • Candy

          I don’t find giving oral sex to be one-sided, personally. Like Meghan says, with a guy who isn’t demanding it out of an entitlement complex and then giving you two second of shitty oral before complaining, who you like and who likes you, it can be pleasurable. I guess I don’t think it’s realistic for both parties to always get the same amount of pleasure from a sex act, though I do agree sexual relations shouldn’t feel like work.

        • GC

          Many men as sadly many women also have insulting inaccurate myths about the vagina.

          As Pulitzer prize winning science writer Natalie Angier explained in her best selling 1999 book,Woman:An Intimate Geography she explains that gynecologist Dr.Sharon Hiller said that the vagina normally is one of the cleanest parts of the body,and has the same healthy bacteria that many people eat in yogurt called,Lactobacillus .And that the vagina is actually much cleaner than the mouth,and much much cleaner than the rectum.

          Only when women have a vaginal infection which is not a normal regular condition,is there unhealthy bacteria that can cause an unpleasant ”fishy” type smell. She also said that Dr.Sharon Hiller told her that very promiscuous women can have this type of odor. The vagina isn’t even a hole or opening,despite the way most men see it,and pornography portrays it,it’s actually the birth canal,a passage way that every baby (incomprehensibly including men) is born out of,unless your mother had a C section which most didn’t.

          And there is a very good reason why babies are conceived and born out of the vagina and not sh*tholes,and we don’t sh* t out of our vaginas. The bacteria in the sh*thole is totally contaminated with unhealthy sh*t bacteria.But men thanks mostly to pornography that reduces women to appear as nothing but openings to serve their worshipped penises,wrongly equate the vagina and the sh*thole.

    • Skwiz

      There is a product….. called SEMENEX….

      • Really? Does it make sperm taste different?

        • Randi

          In 1994 I wrote to psychiatrist Dr.Linnea Smith about my experience and the harms of pornography. She wrote me back a very nice note and thanked me for my important efforts to educate people on the harms of porn. She said it’s especially difficult because the public is desensitzed and the media is reluctant to criticize other media especially sexually explicit media. She sent me two huge folders full of important information on the harms including Playboy cartoons of women being sexually harassed in the workplace by their male bosses!

          One of the many things she sent me was a transcribed lecture by psychiatrist and law professor Dr.Park Elliott Dietz, and this lecture was given before the National Conference of State Legislators on August 5 1986 and was videotaped by C-Span. Dr. Dietz served as a commissioner on the Attorney General’s Commission on Pornography. He was professor of law,professor of Behavioral Medicine and Psychiatry,and Medical Director of The Institute of Law,Psychiatry and Medical Director of The Institute of Law,Psychiatry and Public Policy at The University of Virginia School of Law and School of Medicine.

          He gave many examples of women and children’s testimonies who were sexually abused by men who used pornography,and also women who were sexually harassed on the job with pornographic pictures hung up on the walls and shown to them. He said he only used a small sample of the 1000’s of women and children who testified. He says many times that pornography is a health problem and human rights issue and he said one of the reasons is because so much of it teaches false,misleading,and even dangerous information about human sexuality.

          This is what he said a person would learn about sexuality from pornography, “A person who learned about human sexuality in the “adults only” pornography outlets of America would be a person,who had never conceived of a man and woman marrying or even falling in love before having intercourse,who had never conceived of two people making love in privacy without guilt or fear of discovery,who had never conceived of tender foreplay,who had never conceived of vaginal intercourse with ejaculation during intromission,and who had never conceived of procreation as a purpose of sexual union.,

          Instead,such a person would be one who had learned that sex at home meant sex with one’s children,stepchildren,parents,stepparents,siblings,cousins,nephews,nieces,aunts,uncles,and pets,and with neighbors,milkmen,plumbers,salesmen,burglars,and peepers,who had learned that people take off their clothes and have sex within the first 5 minutes of meeting one another,who had learned to misjudge the percentage of women who prepare for sex by shaving their pubic hair,having their breasts, buttocks or legs tattooed,having their nipples or labia pierced,or donning leather,latex,rubber,or childlike costumes,who had learned to misjudge the proportion of men who prepare for sex by having their genitals or nipples pierced,wearing women’s clothing,or growing breasts.

          Who had learned that about 1 out of 5 sexual encounters involves spanning,whipping,fighting,wrestling,tying,chaining,gagging,or torture,who had learned that more than 1 in 10 sexual acts involves a party of more than 2,who had learned that the purpose of ejaculation is that of soiling the mouths,faces,breasts,abdomens,backs,and food at which it’s always aimed,who had learned that body cavities were designed for the insertion of foreign objects,who had learned that the anus was a genital to be licked and penetrated,who had learned that urine and excrement are erotic materials,who had learned that the instruments of sex chemicals,handcuffs,gags,hoods,restraints,harnesses,police badges,knives,guns,whips,paddles,toilets,diapers,enema bags,inflatable rubber women,and disembodied vaginas,breasts,and penises,who had learned that except with the children,where secrecy was required,photographers and cameras were supposed to be present to capture the action so that it could be spread abroad.

          If these were the only adverse consequences of pornography,the most straightforward remedy would be to provide factually accurate information on human sexuality to people before they are exposed to pornography,if only we could agree on what that information is,on who should provide it to the many children whose parents are incapable of doing so,and on effective and acceptable means by which to ensure that exposure not precede education. In the absence of such a remedy,the probable consequences in this area alone are sufficient to support recommendations that would reduce the dissemination of that pornography which teaches false,misleading or dangerous information about human sexuality. And these are not the only adverse consequences of pornography.

          He then says before he gives more examples and research,that pornography is a health problem and human rights issue because it increases the probability that members of the exposed population will acquire attitudes that are detrimental to the physical and mental health of both those exposed and those around them,pornography is a health problem and human rights issue because it is used as an instrument of sexual abuse and sexual harassment.

          And look where we are now! And all of the porn users and supporters and defenders of the sick, sexist,woman-hating pornography are actually *proving* Dr.Gail Dines etc is so right that so many people including unfortunately many women have been so influenced and desensitized by the sexualized,normalized, and eroticized, extremely sexist,sick,dehumanizing,violent,cruel horrendous typical pornography that has been so unjustly,and wrongly mainstreamed that she describes in painfully extensive disturbing details! It’s clear that the people who use and love this horrendous extremely sick,sexist,degrading,cruel,violent,horrendous pornography don’t want the truth about it to be recognized and don’t want to stop using it!That is why they deny the reality of pornography and defend it!

  • amongster

    This is not just ridiculous, it’s offensive.

    Personally I don’t use perfumes at all and try to avoid products that make me smell artificially fruity, floral or whatever. I like to smell like I do, like a human being, and I prefer the natural scent of others as well.
    Interesting enough most men I’ve met were totally fine with that – at least that was what they said. I guess porn hasn’t been able yet to train men to be only pleased or arroused when they smell perfume and peaches? But I’m sure capitalism will help with that by using women’s insecurity as a tool against them. It’s so fucked up.

    • Missfit

      Maybe someday, technology will alow for smells to come out of screens. Men will get off on olfactory porn. You will have categories likes ‘peaches pussies’ and ‘strawberry pussies’. Men will be grossed out when encountering a woman who does not have a fruity smelly vagina, thinking there is something wrong with her. As part of their routine shopping, along with their razors and make-up, women will buy fruity smelling vagina products (for themselves, of course, as they always had that desire to smell fruity down there, they just feel better that way).

      • I thought of that, too, Missfit. They’ll keep trying new things with porn and another thing will be to give it a smell. Like peaches. Ugh.

  • C. Onion

    I’ve heard of people born into really hideous bodies with various medical problems – hairy all over, multitude of skin problems, unhealthy complexion, legs too short, body fat accumulating in unusual places and really nasty smelling private parts… the list goes on. I really feel bad for those with this disorder, but it must be just a few people, right? Statistically, how likely is to have such an abnormal body?

    Luckily, there is a range of skin products aimed at this population, special footwear, body paint to conceal their ugliness (sry, just saying the truth), and they can even choose preferred method of dealing with unwanted hair (choice is important, it makes them feel more in control and thus better about themselves). Also their body fat can be surgically removed from unwanted places or visually recreated in desirable places (it’s not real fat, some kind of jelly, but makes them not so disgusting to look at).

    And now brave and noble men such as Heinz and Gome are taking the next big step in fixing those people. God bless!


  • Lola

    Of course it makes sense that our vaginas should smell like peaches, you guys! What were we thinking, that we should smell like real people?? Let’s pretend we are human beings or someping!

  • Could we get the “fewer yeast infections” without the damned peaches?

    And durn you, Megan, those peaches made me want to eat a fresh, juicy one, which won’t happen until next August or so…

  • Candy

    I have to be honest, the part where you compare a man who isn’t too fond of the taste or smell of a vagina to a 12-year-old got me thinking…a woman who isn’t fond of the taste or smell of a dick or semen isn’t similarly compared to a child, nor are they accused of hating male bodies. I understand that male sexual entitlement is a real phenomenon, and that’s because of that and porn culture, so many are less than willing to reciprocate or take the time to pleasure a woman because orgasms should be quick and easy, but I did think that was a bit…off. Some people give oral for their partners despite not being enamored by the logistics.

    • C.K. Egbert

      I don’t think that women should feel that they “need” to pleasure their (male) partner that way if they find it at all unpleasant; that’s just basic respect. In fact it seems a lot of women don’t like it but feel that they have to do it (and if they don’t, it’s almost a guarantee that they will be pressured into it by their male partners), and I think that’s very problematic.

      There is also no push to “fix” men’s bodies at all, whereas women are considered inherently disgusting. One can not want to perform oral sex on women without thinking that a woman’s vulva smells “bad” or is otherwise disgusting. The purpose of this product is not to make oral sex on women more appealing but to “fix” a supposed problem with women’s bodies.

      • Sabine

        This is so true, C.K.!

    • “I understand that male sexual entitlement is a real phenomenon, and that’s because of that and porn culture, so many are less than willing to reciprocate or take the time to pleasure a woman because orgasms should be quick and easy”

      Take that truth a step further, Candy. Porn culture teaches that women are mad for sperm. We love it in us and all over us. We love when multiple men drown our faces in it. The mere fact of having someone excrete sperm onto us sends into paroxysms of pleasure. Female sexual organs on the other hand (according to porn culture) require extreme sterilization and “punishment”. Big difference.

      • Candy

        Trust me, I’m not disagreeing nor am I saying it’s on the same level. I just don’t think that a man who isn’t particularly fond of the taste is necessarily a porny douchebag or a manchild, nor do I think a woman is a prude for disliking it. Genitals aren’t always the most pleasant thing in the universe and hell, I would love to smell/taste like a peach. I just wish there was a pill for men that would have the same affect (though apparently if that commenter is right, there is?). That doesn’t mean I hate my body, my vagina, or my womanhood. I just kind of prefer the smell and taste of peaches to semen and vaginas. Same reason I like to wear fruity lotion or use oils on my skin – they smell better than natural to me.

      • Randi

        Mark Wukas wrote in the Chicago Tribune March 21 1993 that back in 1989 research by psychologist Dr.James Check at York University’s psychology department Toronto Canada found 29% of boys indicated that pornography was the most useful source of sex information including school,parents teachers and peers.He said that to find out what children were learning from the pornography, Check devised a questionnaire that asked under what circumstances is it OK for a boy to hold a girl down and force her to have sexual intercourse. Check found that 43 percent of the boys and 16% of the girls said that holding a woman down and forcing sexual intercourse is at least maybe OK if she gets him sexually excited.His findings also found that one third of 14-year old boys and 2% of girls watch video pornography regularly.

        Also, Robert Jensen explains in his great important book,Getting Off:Pornography And The End Of Masculinity that whatever the genesis of the cum shot in the history of pornography we can ask why it continues.He then asks what does the cum shot mean? He says in one of the first films he watched for his study of pornography was the 1990 porn video Taboo VIII and one of the male characters offers an answer.He says that when this man refuses the request of a woman(whom he feels is a slut) to have intercourse with her he tells her,”I don’t f*ck sluts I jerk off on them.Take it or leave it.” He then ejaculates on her breasts.Robert Jensen says that this suggests that ejaculating onto a woman is a method by which she is turned into a slut,something -not really someone-whose purpose is to be sexual with men.He then says ejaculating onto her body marks her as a “slut” which in pornography is synonymous with “woman”.

        He then says that that assessment was echoed by a veteran of the pornography industry ( former porn star and director Bill Margold),who told an interviewer:I’d like to really show what I believe the men want to see:violence against women.I firmly believe that we serve a purpose by showing that.The most violent we can get is the cum shot in the face.Men get off behind that,because they get even with the women they can’t have.We try to inundate the world with orgasms in the face.

        Bill Morgold also said,My whole reason for being in the Industry is to satisfy the desire of the men in the world who basically don’t care for women and want to see the men in my Industry getting even with the women they couldn’t have when they were growing up.I strongly believe this,and the Industry hates me for saying it…So when we come on a woman’s face or somewhat brutalize her sexually :we’re getting even for their lost dreams.I believe this.I’ve heard audiences cheer me when I do something foul on screen.When I’ve strangled a person,or brutalized a person,the audience is cheering my action,and then when I’ve fulfilled my warped desire,the audience applauds.

        Feminist anti-porn educator Sociologist Dr.Gail Dines said that many of her female students told her that their boyfriends are constantly pressuring them to the things they see in pornography,that they have seen it in the pornograohy and now they want to experience it in real life.She said that many young women are so desperate to have a man in their lives that they will often give in and do these things even though their instincts are telling them don’t do it.

        Dr.Chyng Sun also reports that many women have told her that their boyfriends and husbands are constantly asking them to the things they have seen in pornography and they don’t want to.On quite a few message boards over the years I have seen posts by men asking women if they like to have or will let their boyfriends or husbands cum on their faces like they do in the porn videos.One women made a topic about 7 years ago called,Some Men’s Disgusting Obsession and she said her boyfriend constantly wants her to let him ejaculate on her face and she said she feels it’s disgusting and degrading and she said he watches a lot of porn videos and she knows that’s where he got the idea. A guy responded and said that a lot of young men are watching a lot of pornography on the internet today and they learn to think it’s sexy to ejaculate on a woman’s face or body.

        Another guy posted on an “Adult” Site where they had advice questions and answers and he posted that he ejaculated on his girlfriend’s face and she was very angry and upset and she left him for good.But he couldn’t understand why and what he did wrong because he said his girl friend was always wild in bed and he said he watches a lot of porn videos and all of the porn stars love facials.On a guy said that he and other men he knew said that it never occurred or appealed to them to ejaculate on a woman’s face or body,only inside her vaginally,until they saw it in pornography.Many women have also said their husbands and boyfriends are pressuring them to have anal sh-thole sex after seeing women in pornography portrayed as if they love it.

        Also some years ago on an advice site for teens I don’t remember the name of it,a teenage guy made a topic,asking the girls which part of their bodies is their favorite to have their boyfriends c-m on. So one teen girl said that she finds semen really gross,but if her boyfriend is acting good,sometimes she lets him ejaculate on her breasts. A teen guy says to the guy who posted the topic,dude you’ve been watching way too much porn.

    • Sabine

      “..a woman who isn’t fond of the taste or smell of a dick or semen isn’t similarly compared to a child, nor are they accused of hating male bodies.”

      Maybe not. We are just called “frigid” or “prudes” and accused of hating sex. Women aren’t generally accused of hating men’s bodies because on the whole we don’t. We don’t have the expectations of men’s bodies that they have of ours. How many women do you know who expect men to have the physique of a male model in order to be deemed attractive and worthy of our attention?

      • Candy

        This is true.

      • Randi

        As a true feminist said on a blog back in 2006 in response to a an article that was by women calling themselves ”feminists” who didn’t strongly criticize pornography enough,She said meanwhile the truth is,is that pornography reduces women to nothing but f*ckholes and cum dumpsters for men.

        And we know that most men think women’s menstrual blood is ”gross”,although blood is not really that gross,semen is a zillion times more gross,most men would find it really gross and degrading to see women in pornography smear their period blood all over men’s faces,bodies and in their mouths,and most men would be grossed out if women did this to them!

  • Ellesar

    I wonder at what age a girl feels that the smell emanating from her vulva is unacceptable? I wonder if that has anything to do with ‘innovations’ like these? I wonder how this peachy smell will complement the smell of menstrual blood?

    • Obviously, we need to fight for our human right to have menstrual blood that smells like raspberry sauce.

      • Sabine

        You should patent that before they do 😉

    • corvid

      I’m not exactly sure on average, but when I was in my teens, I was under the impression that my genitalia were so icky (because pop culture) that I refused to let my first boyfriend go down there. I also let him PiV me relentlessly, way more than was reasonable, keeping my mouth shut about the resultant pain and infections. I thought I had to do that because that was what women seemed to do in pornography. I don’t think the men who create these products and popular media have any idea what girls and women go through as a result of the culture they create, or perhaps they just don’t care.

      • Sabine

        That’s really got me thinking about just WHEN exactly did we start learning that our vaginas were so “disgusting?” I can pinpoint the stuff about needing to not be fat and to be blemish-free, big-boobed, etc. etc. ad nauseam, but not when this particular fear kicked in. I, too, had an absolute horror of any guy going down on me when in my teens (something I got past! 😉 but I can’t recall what prompted it. So much of our brainwashing is just so insidious…maybe it was the tampon ads about “staying fresh”…I do recall one incident when I was at university, albeit after I had already internalized the fear of “smelly” vaginas. A bunch of typically sexist, moronic guys were talking about some women tasting of “battery acid” and how disgusting it was. When I pointed out how vile dicks can taste (and sperm – ALWAYS vile!) they just laughed. Like, why would it matter whether the woman liked it or not? They were 18 years old and already spouting that shit.

        • I can recall jokes about “fish smell.” Not sure how those got started but that’s definitely where my fear came from.

          • amongster

            Well, if a woman has bacterial vaginosis it is usually regogizebale by its fishy smell. It’s basically an imbalance of the bacterial flora. So like Meghan said, no healthy vagina smells bad.

            It’s disgusting that people would make fun of ill women or use an illness to make fun of all women. There is a good chance girls get bacterial vaginosis *because* they are afraid of smelling and start to douche which destroys the vaginal flora.

          • corvid

            True, that actually happened to a relative of mine when she was a young woman in the 1970’s, she became prone to infections because of douching. Another thing is that, and my experience can attest to this, PiV (even “protected”) can cause infections that aren’t technically STI’s but occur as a result of bacteria down there being stirred into the wrong place or the bacterial balance being thrown off. Times when I’ve been the most sexually active have also been the times when I’ve found myself at the clinic most, despite the fact of following the right protocol for cleanliness and so forth. Men think of vaginas as a hole they fuck whenever they feel like it, this is what the whole patriarchal conception of sex is based on, but women know that vaginas are organs, mucous membranes that are vulnerable. We are driven to deny or minimize the limits of our bodies by the porn culture to which men subscribe. So in terms of men demanding their porn and their porn-standard sex whilst also blaming and shaming women’s “smelly” vaginas, well, it’s an instance of their usual expectation of having their cake and eating it, too.

          • amongster

            It’s awful. Once you have a bactirial vaginosis you mostly have to take antibiotics which kill also the good bacteria and then you start getting yeast infections as a result. It’s a vicious cycle.
            And yes, often men cause the problems. It’s also my experience that women can do whatever they want to keep themselves clean and healthy, you just need a man who doesn’t take washing his hands and any other part too seriously and voilà! you end up in the clinic. And of cause we are blamed and made fun of in the end.

  • Pingback: Sunday feminist roundup (23rd November 2014) (feimineach/com)()

  • It appears the two (male) presenters misrepresented the product. The actual producer (female) points out that the probiotics are intended to create a healthier vaginal environment.

    (There’s every reason to think it would. Women have been using live yoghurt (ie unpasteurized) as a vaginal treatment for low grade infections. The vagina naturally has lactobacilli and when they’re disrupted, the normally acidic environment is lost and infections take hold easily. That’s one of the reasons why douching is so harmful.)

    Smell is not the point of the product, even though the guys were apparently unable to think of any reason why a woman would want to use anything that didn’t somehow involve attractiveness to guys.

    My only remaining question is why the woman wasn’t given the platform to introduce her own product.

    • Rchen

      It appears that the men decided to present her product without asking her if they could or how they should do it. Apparently, although one had nothing to do with the product and the other is only a ten percent shareholder, they felt they knew best. The arrogance of misogynist dudes knows no bounds apparently.

  • According to Pharyngula, the founder of the company that makes this product actually states that it has nothing to do with making your vagina smell like peaches. But it’s still a scam:

  • Joe

    Of course I completely agree with your article, and how this is another example of the societal pressure on women to invest most of their time and energies into maintaining their appearances and conforming to patriarchal definitions of femininity, while males enjoy a significantly higher degree of freedom in how we present ourselves (because society doesn’t tell men that their worth is solely a function of their attractiveness).

    However, this paragraph sort of stuck out to me:

    This has all left me to wonder whether Heinz and Gome have ever encountered a real vagina. Because all the men I know like the way vaginas taste and smell because, you know, they are grownup men who are neither 12, nor do they hate human women and women’s human bodies. Weeeeird

    Though I know the intent is to point out the immaturity of Heinz and Gome, I feel that it also inadvertently reinforces heteronormative patriarchal gender assumptions. First, it implies that all men are straight. Second, it implies that, in order to be a “real, grownup man,” one should be virile and interested in sex. It excludes gays and asexuals a bit.

    I’m not trying to be critical, as I understand the essentially correct message of what you’re conveying. But sexuality is complicated, and not every man disinterested in women’s genitalia hates them or their bodies or think they need to do something to “fix” their bodies.

    • I hate you time-wasting male allies who spend your time policing the speech of anyone who’s pro-feminism. Don’t you have anything better to do than alienate everyone from male allies? Even I don’t like being a male ally because I’m associated with morons like you.

    • “I’m not trying to be critical”

      Yes you are. She said “all the men I know” not “all men”.

      Nice try. Go waste someone else’s time with your wanky, specious lectures.