New Year’s femicide in Brazil reminds us what feminism is fighting for

Isamara Filier
Image: Patrícia Teixeira/G1

A couple of minutes before the New Year, in the Brazilian town of Campinas, located in the northwest of Sao Paulo, Sidnei Ramis de Araújo parked his car outside a house where his ex-wife, Isamara Filier, was hosting a New Year’s Eve party. The 46-year-old man had two guns on him and 10 homemade bombs. He jumped the fence, entered the house, and proceeded to slaughter every woman he saw, starting with Isamara. Ramis de Araújo then killed their son, João, and committed suicide. Three people remain in the hospital while four managed to escape uninjured.

Though Ramis de Araújo targeted members of the same extended family, this mass murder impacted multiple families in tragic ways. Isamara Filier, 41, lost her mother, her son, her brother, and her own life. Liliane Ferreira Donato, 44, was killed, as was her sister — her husband is still in the hospital. Luzia Maia Ferreira, 85, was also killed. She lost three daughters and a granddaughter — her son is still in the hospital.

Ramis de Araújo began planning the attack before Christmas. He left voice recordings in his car that explained he wanted to murder “as many female relatives” as possible.

The couple had separated over five years ago, and the custody case closed over three years ago, but Ramis de Araújo kept fighting for custody nonetheless. Filier argued that he was not suited to be around their son and was concerned that he had molested the child. Two psychologists hired by Brazil’s Justice Department and a psychologist hired by Filier found that there had been inappropriate conduct from Ramis de Araújo towards his son. The Justice system restricted his visits so that he could only see their son when the mother (or a relative of hers) was present.

The recordings that Ramis de Araújo made before he committed the crime are a testament to male privilege and unbridled male anger, not only towards women, but feminism in general. He refused to address any woman by her name — instead he used the word “vadia,” meaning “bitch.” He conveyed respect towards the police, though, saying he was sorry “for the mess he would make.” In his recorded statement, he said he originally wanted to commit the crime on Christmas (when he had a visitation scheduled) “so that I could kill the most bitches in the family,” but waited because he felt he “lacked practice.”

Ramis de Araújo alleges that he felt persecuted and wanted to avenge what he called “an injustice” perpetrated against him both by Filer and the laws that protect women in the Brazilian justice system. In his recorded suicide “note” he says, “I die for justice, dignity, honour and my right to be a father! That bitch was cunning and inspired other bitches to do the same with their sons. Now fathers will be inspired to kill the families of those bitches.”

We don’t know much about Isamara Filier. Information about who she was is scarce — it is difficult to discern what she did for a living or what her personality was like. But after her death, Brazilian feminists uncovered that she was a woman who spent a decade fighting for her life and her son’s life. The Centro Feminista de Estudos e Assesoria, a feminist research non-profit, writes:

“Isamara Filier filed five complaints against her ex-partner for aggression and threats and also for sexual abuse against her son. Her death [has been foreseeable] since 2005. Eleven years later, with the State failing to prevent and protect her, the crime becomes a reality.”

These efforts on Filier’s part to fight for her life were seen by her eventual murderer as an affront to his male power. He said, “the more she tries to distance [my son] from me, the more I hate her and the less weight on my conscience I’ll have.”

Disgustingly, he speaks directly to his son — who he plans to murder — in these recordings saying, “Son, Dad loves you very much. I won’t let you suffer at the hands of that bitch, Son.” He continues his incoherent rant:

“Son, I am not machista and I don’t have any rage against women (the ones that are nice, I love them with all my heart). I have rage against the bitches that abound. I can’t say that all women are bitches! But all women know what bitches are capable of! Every woman is afraid of dying young, [Isamara] will die at my hands!”

The origin for Ramis de Araújo’s perceived troubles is clear: feminism. He says:

“I’ve already died… because I can’t enjoy life with you because of the feminist system and those crazy women. Son, be certain, we won’t be the only ones fucked, I’ll take as many people from that family with me to ensure this never happens again to another honest working man.”

It is baffling that someone could claim to love his son while simultaneously planning to murder that son. If Filier’s actions are any indication, she was fully aware of the dangers that her ex-husband posed for both her and her son. What she couldn’t fathom was that the scope of his misogynistic vengeance would be far greater than the two of them.

Unsurprisingly, news outlets did a terrible job covering the story and the role misogyny played in the tragedy. Multiple outlets presented the undeniably gendered massacre as a random mass shooting.

Reuters, for example, reported on the story as though it were mere coincidence that Ramis de Araújo went on a shooting spree at his ex-wife’s’ New Year’s Eve party. Paulo Prada reports: “A gunman stormed a house party and killed 11 people, including his former wife and eight-year-old son, before shooting himself in the head during a New Year’s party in the southeastern Brazilian city of Campinas late on Saturday.” There were no follow up stories on the misogyny component of the murder. This is significant as multiple news outlets worldwide rely on media agencies like Reuters. This report was translated word for word into Spanish for Latin Correspondent, and was also republished by The Japan Times and Global News, among others.

As a result, news outlets that rely on Reuters for accurate and thorough coverage neglected to provide any commentary on the blatant misogyny articulated explicitly by Ramis de Araújo or any context for the violence inflicted on his ex-wife and son, prior to the murders.

The Centro Feminista de Estudos e Assesoria, points out that this is not the first time that a femicide shook Brazil around this time of year. On December 30th, 1976, a woman named Ângela Diniz was murdered by her former partner, Doca Street.

The Center writes:

“In the eyes of aggressors like Sidnei, this week, or Doca Street, 40 years ago, all women who fight for liberty and autonomy are bitches. If in the 40 years that separate the crimes of Doca Street and Sidnei Ramis de Araújo, us Brazilian women advanced in rights, the structure of patriarchal domination- which is responsible for killing 13 women daily- has managed to create barriers so that we still can’t attain a plentiful life with human rights.”

I’ve written before about how the most pressing task of the feminist movement is to end violence against girls and women. Today I’d like to repeat my plea. I understand that it is tempting to get distracted by tactics that are meant to deliberately silence feminist debate and cloud our focus. While I think it is important to address these ongoing efforts, we mustn’t let ourselves be sidelined from the most urgent task in the women’s rights movement.

As feminists, we are here for Isamara and all the women and girls whose lives are made disposable under patriarchy. All the women at that New Year’s Eve party were targeted and murdered because they were women. Their mere existence as female in a society that, inconsistently but nevertheless increasingly, is working to recognize them as human was a threat to male power and male entitlement. It has always been a threat.

Natasha Chart writes:

“If you make the men angry, you can just disappear. That’s been true for a very long time. So many men still act in expectation of the instant obedience such fear can command, that the tragedy continues.”

Our struggle is against the oppression and subordination of women. We must not falter in our efforts to help end violence against women and girls.

Our lives depend on it.

Raquel Rosario Sanchez

Raquel Rosario Sanchez is a writer from the Dominican Republic. Her utmost priority in her work and as a feminist is to end violence against girls and women. Her work has appeared in several print and digital publications both in English and Spanish, including: Feminist Current, El Grillo, La Replica, Tribuna Feminista, El Caribe and La Marea. You can follow her @8rosariosanchez where she rambles about feminism, politics, and poetry.

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  • I rely on Reuters for a lot of my news, and I don’t think they displayed the story prominently–or if they did they headlined it in such a way that I missed it. I’m disappointed they dropped the ball on this one. I hope they see your column.

  • Milli

    Stupidity and fear – two only things those men can embrace. Every change and every challenge is too much. And they think they have RIGHT to abuse women and their kids. They think they own them. So they come with the gun. Disgusting products of collapsing system.

  • Monsieur Zoidberg

    The main reason that I will never have a child with a man is because too many men take to sexually abusing their own children. The entitlement that some men feel concerning their family is so vast, that the only way they can keep their delusions in check is with massive amounts of abuse and violence committed against women and children.

  • Blazing Fire

    Horrifying! (but not unexpected, though…).
    One of the best things we can do right away is to make all
    young girls we know aware of all such incidences, so that they will know
    what really goes on in the minds of most men, and will be very very cautious and think well before marrying or settling down (if at all they decide to, that is). As many incidents as possible must be told to them & also if there is any information on how these men acted before their wife had said “yes” to their proposal (they would have acted very nice, in most cases) is available, that also must be told, so that they don’t fall into the trap of “oh, _this_ guy is sooo nice, he can’t be like those bad guys”.

    Also, girls must be taught to love & respect themselves just for being female, as far as male-female relations are concerned (Yes, that is a radical idea, but that was true ever since sexual reproduction started on planet earth. It is still true for most other species other than humans), so that any man that tries to make her feel guilty of “playing hard-to-get” (??) or claims “pooor innocent defenseless menz I read about in dailymale/facebook are being so badly treated/killed by wimmenz.. We will have to be careful about wimmenz, not the other way round as you think” is immediately recognized as an entitled whiner and is struck out from her list of prospective partners.

    PS: I’m digressing a lot here, but I just want to add a footnote about that “u r simply playing hard-to-get” BS:
    Actually, females are SUPPOSED to be “hard to get”. Just watch the tailor birds or any other bird/animal other than humans & may be a few types of apes. It is NOT a man’s birthright or something to “get” a lifelong slave girl (who will alone be the one going through pregnancy, horrific labour pains & a whole lot of other things as a consequence of his having fun). He has to earn her hand.

    • Tired feminist

      “Earn her hand” is also a fucked up idea, unfortunately. It implies that women are prizes men are entitled to for being successful (whatever masculinity says success means).

      Females aren’t supposed to be anything other than what they want to.

      • Blazing Fire

        You are right.
        What I meant by “earn her hand” was more like “earn
        her trust & acceptance (honestly)” – if she is open to having a
        relationship, that is – as against expecting babes to fall all over him,
        (& commit to him & serve him & silently bear all his
        violence) just for existing, like the MRAs & their ilk – including this murderer – expect.

        • FierceMild

          I was thinking something like that might be what you meant. Glad it is.

  • Tired feminist

    Male-owned leftist press has been reporting it as “political hatred”, because his letter was also full of fascist/conservative rhetoric. The only situation when men collectively feign concern about misogyny is when they can use it to attack their political opponents.

    • melissa

      “only situation when men collectively feign concern about misogyny is when they can use it to attack their political opponents”

      Always. That’s why the Right suddenly starts to sounds like feminists when it comes to Islam but never Christianity, while the Left conveniently drops its feminism to peddle all kinds of apologist bs.

  • Alienigena

    The unwillingness of news media to directly document and report on the biological sex of perpetrators of family violence is a constant irritant to me. I think this speaks to the erasure of the category of female by certain interests such as MRAs and virulent trans activists (e.g. they threaten violence, use terms like TERF and deny physical reality). Just look at the attempt to erase biological sex as a category by some commenters on FC blog posts by people I can only consider to be pro-idiocy, because they deny material reality (e.g. biological reality) to promote their own sad desire to re-rewrite human history and biological science (M-to-F trans in particular) so they can feel better about themselves. I have to wonder if these types of people also deny climate science. They are essentially science (as a discipline and mode of thought) deniers. Because that is what they are denying. When reality becomes a bit inconvenient … they start to rant and rave at random and as far as I know, innocent targets. Women as a group. Who become cis- or what women are often called, what the women targeted by the violent man mentioned in this blog post calls his ex-wife, bitches.

    I am so sick of the ’embroiled in custody battle’ men going off on women in general. Not all murder their ex-wives or families but they are all toxic. The fact that violent and abusive men also think they are entitled to access to their children really enrages me. My father was abusive to me and others in my family. I would not have wanted him to have access to me if my mother had divorced him. There was a recent story of a infant being in critical condition in my city after the child’s father assaulted the child. My father assaulted me as a infant, according to my mother (I was crying and he struck me). I would plead with the legal system not to give these violent men access to the women or children they have abused.

    You want the know what the major domestic violence story in my city is, described by the judge as ‘one of the worst domestic violence cases he has seen’. A woman who murdered her husband. I am not saying the crime wasn’t horrific but I find it hard to believe there wasn’t a case of male violence that was as bad. I mean a man murdered women and carried them around in hockey bags in the back of his truck for god’s sake.

    http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/sister-testifies-about-finding-dead-woman-in-brother-s-hockey-bag-1.731381

    Male mass and family murderers are constantly given ‘cover’ or excused by the news media (e.g. he was distraught, he had PTSD) this woman’s crime is presented sans context.

    http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/hwang-domestic-violence-manslaughter-murder-homicide-beat-1.3924853

    I am sure there are cases of domestic or other violence committed by men that could be described as horrific in my province, see Cindy Gladue’s story (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/alberta-court-reviewing-acquittal-in-death-of-cindy-gladue-1.3750342). I have never seen a contemporary story about male violence against women being described as horrific (if the sex of the victims is even mentioned, as it wasn’t in the case cited by the blogger). Are instances of domestic violence (other than those involving death) even covered by news media? Probably not, for a variety of reasons (e.g. to protect the abused), not all justified.

    • Atton

      Deep down women are horrible people. If we identified domestic abusers by gender women would make up a huge number.

      • Meghan Murphy

        HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

      • Zuzanna Smith

        Not cleaning up after you and not making your sandwiches is not domestic abuse, parasite.

      • Ash Moylan

        OK I see ppl reply to your asinine comments and I think “why bother?” – and now I’m doing it!
        IF you’ve been abused by a woman, then come out and say so – THEN we can try to understand why you’re being such a —- (choose your own word)

  • Catelynn Wilcox

    Ew, TERFs.

    • Meghan Murphy

      Ew, misogynists.

  • Meghan Murphy

    Naw — attacking feminist analysis of female oppression under the guise of supporting trans people is misogynistic. Also disingenuous. Now you’re using anti-feminist slurs instead of engaging in actual arguments, so trolly and misogynistic. Nice work! V original!

  • Meghan Murphy

    So legit! I wonder what interesting commentary they have?!?!? Probs something super intelligent, convincing, and unique!

  • Meghan Murphy

    The fourth wave, as defined by Bustle. hahahahahhahahah

  • FierceMild

    Oh, it’s already happening. Bitches be hard to handle, you know? So sometimes a man’s gotta kill them and all their family.

  • Atton

    If men really hated women then why do they continue to exist and extra tax dollars? This is something that you are utterly unable to answer simply because you are a bullshit artist.

    • Meghan Murphy

      Yet another MRA transactivist! So grateful to you for being fully out about your anti-feminist politics.

    • Alienigena

      Women don’t need men’s or your permission to exist. We are the rightful inhabitants of this planet like other human beings. Your worldview, women exist because men let them, is really real old school. Old Testament. Maybe join the 21st century and develop some humanity and critical thinking skills.

  • Atton

    This is really quite funny coming from a cis gendered privileged white woman. You should actually take the time to check your privilege before you comment on the LGBT.

    • Meghan Murphy

      lol. Your tumblr garbage doesn’t work here, bud. Check your own privilege (and ignorance).

    • Zuzanna Smith

      Stop assigning labels to other people, bro, and then check your anime pedo fetishizing male entitlement.

  • Meghan Murphy

    Ok, well that’s enough fun for today. Bye now.

  • Tired feminist

    Did you read the article? The case was investigated and it was concluded there was indeed misconduct. His son was said to hate his father to such an extent that he told a school teacher he wanted to murder him when he grew up: https://www.google.de/amp/m.folha.uol.com.br/amp/cotidiano/2017/01/1846358-menino-morto-em-chacina-em-campinas-disse-que-mataria-o-pai.shtml?client=ms-android-samsung

    Can you step out of your woman-blaming bubble for five seconds and try to imagine what could possibly make a 8yo child talk about his own father like this? Justice could have decided to cut all contact between the two. Instead, the judge determined the boy could see his father if the mother was also present. More cannot be done for an abusive father, really.

    Have some fucking perspective. This is an article about a horrific hate crime that was OPENLY misogynistic in all levels. Go drop your MRAish garbage ANYWHERE on the internet but here.

  • Meghan Murphy

    And there you have it: MRAs and transactivists are the same, folks.

  • Meghan Murphy

    White people looooove to use Indigenous cultures in this debate, led primarily by white college kids. Talk about appropriation.

    • oilwoman

      They exploit the utter loving shit out of the two-spirit identity, ignoring that it is a spiritual title, not a gender. They dress differently because it’s believed the gods have blessed them to lead us.

  • Tired feminist

    Oh, Atton is a MGTOW! That explains why he can’t help but creep on feminist websites! 😀

    • Richard Rich

      @disqus_w9tbTlB0GB:disqus Word. These jackals talk a great deal about absconding and staying away from women. But they can’t help but draw themselves to places they are not wanted. Whether it’s the feminist sphere online or into women’s previously protected spaces like their public restrooms. And Meghan Murphy is correct about the correlation between MGTOW/MRAs and their crossdressing fellows. This is addressed by another feminist on YouTube:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYjfq8AeHYo

  • Tired feminist

    The day men stop sexually abusing their kids they might have better chances on custody battles…

    • Cassandra

      Can somebody with Photoshop skills add “male” to the headers of these posters?
      Aaaaaarrrgh!

      (Not your doing, SPLIN.)

  • Zuzanna Smith

    Men die in wars created by men,( funny how you forgot all the women and children who die in wars created by men, bro) homicide of men perpetrated by other men, men destroying themselves violently because they are violent, etc. sorry bro, this BS doesn’t fly here.

  • oilwoman

    I’ve attacked both in the past. Clinton was just appropriate.

  • Milli

    False accusations are terrible and life ruining, yes (there is quite interesting film about the topic). So, what to do? Become the killer? If the accusation was false (I do not know, but he definitely prooved he is over-the-top aggressive) he had the right to confront people who accused him. But not to kill them. Kill “as many female relatives as possible” is hate crime. You can´t say “he had the reason, he is the victim here”. Hitler also had his own reasons.

  • Cassandra

    These are all things men do and have control of.

    This is literally what you’re saying:
    “You think men are mother fuckers to YOU?! Well, look what we do to EACH OTHER! We sure are stupid mother fuckers, huh?!”

    I’m so embarrassed for you.

  • Milli

    Oh, baby. Combat death – patriarchy created wars plus sexism and harassment in army (less women in army) equal more male soldiers die in battles. Those soldiers rape and kill women who are not in army (so not in this statistics). Homicide – 85% of murderers are men (so stop killing your bros if you don´t like it). Industrial accidents – well, you are not that handy? Suicides – women are twice likely to have depression, you guys need to learn how to deal with stress (woman up!).

  • Wren

    Lol! I’m soooo glad I didn’t have to witness such a performance.

  • Wren

    Oh, finally some good news.

  • Tired feminist

    I had a mental picture of Meghan rolling her eyes when I read that one, haha.

    • Meghan Murphy

      I have a VERY good eye roll.

  • FierceMild

    Also, fathers do get custody more often *when they seek it*.

    Study 1: MASS
    2100 cases where fathers sought custody (100%)
    5 year duration

    29% of fathers got primary custody
    65% of fathers got joint custody
    7% of mothers got primary custody

    Study 2: MASS
    700 cases. In 57, (8.14%) father sought custody
    6 years

    67% of fathers got primary custody
    23% of mothers got primary custody

    Study 3: MASS
    500 cases. In 8% of these cases, father sought custody
    6 years

    41% of fathers got sole custody
    38% of fathers got joint custody
    15% of mothers got sole custody

    Study 4: Los Angeles
    63% of fathers who sought sole custody were successful

  • Tired feminist

    How original! How revolutionary! How independent!

    • FierceMild

      Soon he’ll be awarded the private island populated by virgin that he deserves!

    • Cassandra

      “Hey! I came to this website to tell you I’m leaving! And you’ll be sorry when I’m gone! I mean it this time! I’m going my own way! You Western women will miss out on husbands! I’m going now! See, watch me go…”

      Okay. Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.

  • radwonka

    Yes something timeless, that cant be modified or changed! *.*

  • radwonka

    “kyriarchy” or “women who dont like slavery are prudes: they are the only real threat in the world!”

    “smash the patriarchy” has been so bastardized too, it needs to be added to the top 10 list of mantras people should stop saying in 2017

    “feminist burlesque, peeling off eight layers of clothing to reveal
    messages such as “pubes are normal” and “equal pay” picked out in
    sequins”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fd34bee29a5c4e670d721f96950f2dc30a513bd29f6601e337c8e550c141c0ce.gif

    • Tired feminist

      I actually did look “kyriarchy” up and it took me to – you guessed it – Everyday Obedience: http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/04/kyriarchy-101/

      Seems it’s just the latest step of feminist erasure… Fighting patriarchy is too terfy-swerfy, eww; cool feminism has to fight ALL oppressions!

      • radwonka

        “feminism has to fight ALL oppressions!”

        and this include banalizing pornsick males, poor males, and stuff like that #LifeGoals

        • Wren

          fuck it all.

    • FierceMild

      Right?

  • radwonka

    In fact, I think that feminism has always been 2nd wave (I mean, there are many women who had the same politics as the 2nd wave even before the 2nd wave existed.).

    feminism is just one timeless and stable ideology; the rest, as history showed, is either patriarchal backlash or infiltration.

    So we just need feminism to come back 😛

    And throw all that patriarchy positive bullshit out of the window

    If pro patriarchy females whine, we would just remind them that they were the first who stigmatized us 😛

    • Wren

      Yeah I don’t get all these “waves.” The 2nd wavers were the ones who nailed it, so why can’t we be “2nd wave rebooted”?

      Or maybe “2nd wave: the sequel”?
      or “Let’s finish what we started”?

  • FierceMild

    I had to make the choice between shaving armpits or using deodorant. I just wasn’t woman enough to nix both.

    • radwonka

      lmaoooo xD

  • Wren

    I don’t even get what he said but I like your interpretation.

  • Cassandra

    Instead of “Bustle’s guide to 4th wave feminism” it should read
    “Bustle’s guide to centering men” or “Bustle’s guide to upholding patriarchy under the guise of progress” or “Bustle’s guide to phallocentrism.”

    JFC are young women really this naive?

    • Wren

      Unfortunately, this is all young women hear. Well, not exactly, They hear that they shouldn’t be raped, but they should be fans of porn. They hear that they should be proud of being woman, but a man can be one too. They’re told that they should be paid fairly and treated equally in the workplace, but that a brothel is a workplace. They’re told that men shouldn’t objectify them, but they’d feel empowered if they took a pole class. If I was 20 I’d be so fucking confused.

      • Cassandra

        This is a great list, Wren. It should be posted somewhere conspicuous.

        Yes, I tend to forget that I was a child in the mid ’70s and had women’s libbers as teachers and male Social Studies teachers that actually taught the fact that we live in a patriarchy as fact, because duh. I actually do wonder what’s going on with Sex Ed classes these days across the US and the rest of the world. Has biology been declared wrong and transphobic? (Or are they just changing everything to “people with uteri?”)

        A few years ago there were movements in conservative states (and pockets of a couple of liberal states) to remove the Civil Rights Movement (and pretty much anything that could encourage people to disobey) from high school curriculums. Just wipe it out the way old-timey conservatives wish they could erase the French Revolution. Voilà!

        Your list of contradictions would make a great Times Square ticker tape thing. Oh, the sad irony. (People always praise Giuliani for “cleaning up” NYC and Times Square in the ’90s, but as we wise ones here at FC know, in the end it was ye auld internet that “cleaned up” seedy parts of town everywhere.)

    • radwonka

      I blame pop culture, I think that all these movies, pop songs, rap songs, videos clips, “iconic singers/actresses to follow”,grooming magazines, youtube “tutorials” etc did really impact this generation because the media (including the internet) didnt offer anything else to women, so I guess that even the idea of questioning their culture is impossible for many (which is why, they would rather blindly follow a trend even if it destructive, because they feel “lost” without those it).

      And ofc libfem who say that criticism = shaming/killing/etc dont help either

      • Cassandra

        It’s all of it. It is the work of Sauron.

        But really, it’s all driven by money and a desire to control/dominate women. And money.

        • radwonka

          Money to control women.

  • Zuzanna Smith

    Your gifs are so on the money Radwonka, they make my day:)

  • Blazing Fire

    One more thing (and I somehow feel this is very important) would be to detoxify young girls’ minds from the stupid ideas spewed out by every type of media. It is a bit tricky, because there are different types of toxins floating around, some of which seem to be opposite of each other, but are equally poisonous.
    A couple of them are:
    1) Rose-tinted novels or movies that paint almost every man as a very sacrificial, very very loving, caring, generous, selfless guy, who expects ONLY love from the girl, and almost never giving an example of the real, dangerous, violent-towards-women type.
    The reality is that the 2nd type is very common – many of those wife-beaters wouldn’t dare to to pick a fight with an equally built man. Only those women at home would be the victims, unknown to the outside world.
    Since the reality is camouflaged & only a rosy view is seen, girls become very unsuspecting, believing that “guys won’t do that to a girl”, and don’t stay as careful or guarded as they should be, when it comes to choosing a partner.

    Antidote:
    Novels/movies should try to project reality – the first type should be rare & a lot more examples of the 2nd type should be given (it wouldn’t be difficult at all!!). Since we don’t expect authors or producers to help us, we’ll have to educate young girls ourselves – by making all incidents like this known to them. If they are made aware of this at an earlier age, and also kept away from filthy stuff on TV/Internet/”books”, they could grow up having better defenses (I mean, be better able to identify dangerous men, or dangerous situations).

    2) The more dangerous toxin that has been developed in this post-liberal era:
    Trying to make people believe that women, by nature, incurably crave for a man’s company so badly that they’ll run behind him (which is actually in SHARP CONTRAST to the way nature created them) & do anything for him. The worst part is that this abnormalcy is defended in the name of gender-equality (“wooing a date is not an ‘exclusive’ domain of men”. “Women have the ‘freedom’ to do the same”), while IGNORING biological differences. If the same lie is repeated long enough & often enough, everyone would soon internalize it (Similar to Hitler’s strategy). This will cause dissonance in the minds of women – their nature would pull them towards being cautious, and not being an easy game, while the artificial training given by the modern crap tells them to throw caution to the wind and pursue & catch any guy – as long as hr is “cute” (!!? WT..? till a few years back, that word was for meant for babies, and may be for female friends..) – don’t be so prude, because, hey, gender equality! you are as strong as he is, and he can’t do anything to you! So why should you even use your brain now? Just “catch” him nah?.
    But if the brainwashing does on much longer, this dissonance won’t even be recognized.

    I hardly watch movies. Only about 5 years back or so I had started watching a few selected movies. I very soon ran out of movies to watch. Even the so called “G” rated movies are based on toxic, unnatural ideas. I don’t remember all of them, but I have one on top of my head now:
    Disney’s “cow belles” – the young man in the movie is soo arrogant, rude, and treats the girl so rashly. But halfway through the movie they get very close & even kiss, and worse, at the end of the movie there was a dance/celebration, and the girl’s father swings her into that same semi-educated, arrogant guy’s arms and they dance blissfully together (or rather she dances blissfully, and he is in his usual style). It was very very appalling. Of course the girl was in a dire situation, and needed help, and this arrogant guy was one of the few people she knew. But in reality, a girl would have maintained only a neighborly, non-romantic relation with the guy (coz she needs help). But the movie is wrongly teaching girls that romance is possible even in the face of so much disrespect, rudeness & crudeness! If girls grow up on such fake ideas (= fake food for their mind), imagine what sort of guys they would end up with.

    We need to be very careful about the unnatural stuff targeted our minds , just like we are cautious with artificial flavours in the food we eat.

    • Cassandra

      Sadly enough I think all these ships sailed long ago. Any attempt to educate girls about male violence and/or how to navigate this life as a woman on your own is generally met with fierce resistance. The only answer is to tear it all down, starting with blowing up Hollywood.

      • FierceMild

        I dunno, I was (and still am) very into old folk music as a girl and a young woman and that material is FULL of warnings not to trust men. I think it helped me. I didn’t trust ’em, I didn’t act like they weren’t a dime a dozen and I came through uncommonly well. Lucky? Most certainly. The warnings and the bits of stories in the back of my head certainly helped though. They gave me a guide to categories behavior that I wouldn’t have had from other sources.

        • Cassandra

          I guess I was thinking more about what’s going on nowadays.

  • radwonka

    I feel bad for laughing so hard when im practically on the same level :””’)