A new dawn for American women

Across the internet, women have been expressing relief at the end of the Trump era. Even Canadians are posting moving images of Kamala Harris and Jill Biden in outfits representing progress. No true feminist would wear a black suit and red tie, after all. What America needs now is jewel tones.

I’m hard pressed to understand what trauma Canadians have endured watching an egomaniac tweet himself into internet jail… If anything, it provided dedicated progressive posters with four years of conversation starters. Now what will you meme about?

Either way, I’m just glad all this division and polarization will finally come to an end. Canadians and Americans alike will have to band together to find something new to distract themselves with. Maybe this time it will be mass surveillance and the end of free speech? OR. Or. Wait no I have a good one. An end to women’s sport and sex-based protections?

The first thing U.S. President Joe Biden did, the day after his inauguration, was to sign 15 executive orders, including rejoining the Paris Climate Agreement and reversing a policy that blocks U.S. funding for programs overseas linked to abortion. Not bad. He also implemented a mask mandate on federal property, as well as on buses, planes, and trains.

But Biden’s courageous “100 Days Masking Challenge” (ooooh fun! It’s like a game!) wasn’t the only decision allowing us to collectively breathe a hot sigh of relief. He also signed an executive order to implement certain aspects of the Equality Act, which sounds like a great thing, unless you are a woman who, in 2021, hoped for equality under the law. Sorry, Karen. Equality is not for you. Put your mask back on.

The order ensures “that federal anti-discrimination statutes that cover sex discrimination prohibit discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity” and bypasses the tedious legislative process normally required to pass legislation.

But hey, we’re talking about equality, you guys. And who would vote against that! As far as I’m aware, democracy just means other people get to decide what’s good for you. People who vote against ungood things are fascists.

Lest you had been fooled into believing an “Equality Act” was, at least in part, about combatting sex-based discrimination, seeing as women are the half of the population who spent the last 100 years fighting for equal rights under the law, we are reminded that our status as “woman” only matters if you are the kind of woman who is a man.

The original Equality Act introduced in 1974 by Bella Abzug did in fact seek to prohibit discrimination on the basis of sex (as well as sexual orientation and marriage status) but as we all now know, thanks to Twitter’s fact checkers, humans have surpassed sex. We are now a mass of amorphous theys whose rights are determined by the kind of porn we prefer.

The Equality Act of 1974 did not go on to become legislation, and has been reintroduced in various forms over the years, bringing us to modern times, where equality is still needed, just not for chicks.

Today, the important thing, in terms of ensuring equality, is that mediocre male athletes be permitted to compete against girls and women, lest they have to live with their male-based mediocrity. As such, this “Equality Act” ensures that individuals cannot be discriminated on the basis of their “gender identity,” which sounds nice because no one should be discriminated against, but in this case we’re using the term “discrimination” to defend the rights of men to claim they are female and be treated as such.

You might ask why men would wish to be treated as “female.” Well, for starters, to ensure they are not denied access to abortion should they become pregnant with delusion. But there are a few other good reasons, too. One of which being that, should these men find themselves charged with sexual assault, they can avoid being stuck in prison with a bunch of violent dudes. Fair enough. No one wants that. Problem is that, as “women,” these men now have the right to be imprisoned in women’s facilities, meaning female inmates are now subject to the male violence no one wants anything to do with. Seems unfair, right? Too bad, Karen! That’s equality!

The really important thing this Equality Act does, though, is to level the playing field for males who aren’t good enough athletes to compete against other male athletes. It is more fair for them to compete against women who are, due to their biology, not as strong or as fast as male athletes. Indeed, women’s bodies are different than male bodies, but we’re no longer allowed to talk about why that is, because material reality is not very polite, and impoliteness kills.

Men can now not only legally access women’s facilities — including washrooms, locker rooms, and dressing rooms — but as “women,” they can also win sport competitions, races, scholarships, and accolades previously reserved for girls and women, which they fully deserve, because the hardest thing about being a woman is being male.

In October, Biden promised us he would enact the Equality Act during his first 100 days as President. He is a Good Guy (which is why you voted for him, right?) and Good Guys keep their promises. So, he is following through. None of this was a surprise, and now we can all celebrate this brave new world, free from the burden of independent thought.

Personally, I’m just relieved Americans no longer have a crazy guy as president! Imagine if the leader of your country believed that males could become female through pronouncement, then enacted legislation on that basis! LOL.

Meghan Murphy

Founder & Editor

Meghan Murphy is a freelance writer and journalist from Vancouver, BC. She has been podcasting and writing about feminism since 2010 and has published work in numerous national and international publications, including The Spectator, UnHerd, Quillette, the CBC, New Statesman, Vice, Al Jazeera, The Globe and Mail, and more. Meghan completed a Masters degree in the department of Gender, Sexuality and Women’s Studies at Simon Fraser University in 2012 and is now exiled in Mexico with her very photogenic dog.