Shia LaBeouf: ‘I would have killed her.’ (We believe you, Shia)

This just in: Violent Shia LaBeouf threatens violence.

On Friday, the actor, who was in Germany to film a horror movie, and his girlfriend were seen screaming at each other outside a taxi cab by a hotel. Some locals (with cameras) intervene and offer to drive him to the airport, at which point LaBeouf get into one of their cars. Goth then, reportedly, “takes his backpack and begs him not to go.”

Shia LaBeouf and Mia Goth
Shia LaBeouf and Mia Goth

Don’t push him, girl.

A video shows LaBeouf (who seems drunk) getting out of the car and saying, “I don’t wanna touch you. I don’t wanna be aggressive. This is the kind of shit that makes a person abusive.”

Eventually Goth gives him back his bag so he can abandon her in Germany and LaBeouf takes off to the airport, saying, “If I’d have stayed there, I would have killed her.”

This time, we believe you, Shia. But here’s the thing. Women don’t “push” men to be abusive. Men can choose to be violent or not. And when they choose to be violent, that’s on them. This is a common myth both abusers and a victim-blaming society perpetuates — that somehow men don’t have control over their actions or anger, or that if a woman acts “crazy” or cheats or yells or, or, or… any violence she experiences is her fault because she “pushed him.” The language, “this is the kind of shit that makes a person abusive,” shows exactly how abusive men think and how they let themselves off the hook: He is not abusive — it’s just the circumstances and this particular woman who is temporarily forcing him to abuse.

The next day Goth is reportedly seen with a black eye and, mystery of mysteries, LaBeouf ends up with an injured hand. A bunch of tabloids have reported this incidence as “a physical fight,” which it is not. It is domestic abuse and even if LaBeouf had restrained himself from punching Goth, threatening your partner with violence still constitutes abuse. It is a way of keeping women afraid and it is a way to show dominance.

LaBeouf has a long history of douchebaggery, combined with substance abuse issues and violence. There is no doubt in my mind that he is abusive, based on this behaviour. Hold this dude accountable before it’s too late.

Meghan Murphy
Meghan Murphy

Founder & Editor

Meghan Murphy is a freelance writer and journalist. She has been podcasting and writing about feminism since 2010 and has published work in numerous national and international publications, including New Statesman, Vice, Al Jazeera, The Globe and Mail, I-D, Truthdig, and more. Meghan completed a Masters degree in the department of Gender, Sexuality and Women’s Studies at Simon Fraser University in 2012 and lives in Vancouver, B.C. with her dog.

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  • Liberals would probably denounce the belief that women push men into being violent towards them and that men cannot control their anger, but they buy into the catharsis nonsense that encourages that belief.

    Catharsis is the (thoroughly scientifically debunked) belief that unexpressed anger builds up until it explodes and therefore must be released in a “healthy manner” (i.e. preferably through consuming violent media or pornography so that the companies which produce such things can make a profit) in order for the person to be “cleansed” of their anger. If this worked, violence would disappear from the world very quickly, because everyone would “release” their anger in some form or another and be done with it, but it does not work. Expressing your anger (in any way, including towards fictional beings in films or video games) makes people more angry over time. This is not necessarily a bad thing, since anger can inspire people to fight for a better world, but we need to do away with this “healthy outlet for pent up emotions” bullshit.

    It is a far better idea to reflect on one’s reason for being angry and decide whether that anger is justified or not (though in my case I often arrive at the conclusion that it is justified), but who wants to think when they can just pretend to abuse women or, in this case, actually abuse a woman (it is not that far a leap from one to the other.)

    • Meghan Murphy

      “It is a far better idea to reflect on one’s reason for being angry and decide whether that anger is justified or not (though in my case I often arrive at the conclusion that it is justified), but who wants to think when they can just pretend to abuse women or, in this case, actually abuse a woman (it is not that far a leap from one to the other.)”

      Exactly. Men are so emotionally deficient that usually their anger is not actually based on anger, but on ego, insecurity, feeling out of control, etc. If we, as a society, forced men to become emotionally intelligent beings — which we don’t — and learn how to understand and deal with their feelings instead of encouraging and excusing their violence and immature/abusive responses to emotions we’d be in a far better place.

      We treat men’s violence like it’s natural and unavoidable. We need to have higher expectations.

    • Dana

      I think there’s something to be said for finding an outlet for anger that ISN’T further violent, like consuming violent porn or whatever. What if instead you channeled that anger into, say, weeding a garden? Jogging? Et cetera? Or if you let it push you into improving the situation of whatever it was that pissed you off? People who think we “need” violent porn to blow off anger are sadly (and disgustingly) limited in their vision.

      • Pam

        And women keep being snarky at each other and agreeing with men and their crazy notions, instead of supporting our female gender.

      • Priscila

        If women created one misandrist video for every time a man pisses us off, under the excuse of “releasing our anger”, men would be basically fucked.

  • Rachel

    Yes! Thank you SO much for covering this. I heard about this on the radio this morning and it made my blood boil. I’m sure this hits close to home for any woman who has suffered domestic violence. It’s not just the anger that it incites, but also the questioning of ‘was it my fault’ all over again. You are right female domestic violence victims are not only told they are the issue by the men they suffer at the hands of, but all of society. I mean, people will easily SAY “it’s never the victims fault” but then that statement is totally negated when they start spouting out “oh she needs to walk away/ listen to him/ not yell at him/ don’t push him” etc. and in the next sentence “poor guy has issues, mental health issues. He needs a strong woman who can really support him and understand him”. Total BS. Been there, done that, bought the Tshirt. The other thing that people don’t get, is that yes she may have taken his bag and begged him not to go (of course this never ever should be an excuse for him to be violent) but let’s just play pretendsies that she ‘pushed’ him to threaten violence… The reason for her begging him not to go and taking his bag is probably not as simple as people think. I can already hear the MRAs saying “she was controlling him” blah blah blah. But, women in this situation know their abuser better than anyone else, they know what he’s threatened and they know what he’s capable of. They will find themselves trying to control the situation to reduce risk of violence against herself and her loved ones. It’s called learning.

    Another thing that really got on my nerves last year was when Shia said he was raped at that art festival thing. Made me sick, and the MRAs jumped right on that one. I’m not saying that the woman who groped him wasn’t at fault at all. Her behaviour was pretty disgusting, but also this is something that women deal with every single day and in fact get blamed for. People aren’t looking at it in the context of the patriarchy where men are dominant, love sex and will fuck anything they can, and women are subservient. Plus rape is about power and control. It is about fear and violence. I know many women freeze up in rape situations, usually a survival thing because they can be easily overpowered by a male. And I know that women in abuaive relationships will ‘consent’ to sex to avoid being hurt for the same reasons. So therefore neither of those examples are really consent. BUT when this woman threw herself at Shia, he didn’t even attempt to push her off. He didn’t attempt to stop what was happening. This to me, is not rape. With the crux of rape being about violence, control and fear, he didn’t show any signs of fearing that woman. not many women can incite that level of fear in a man, that a man can in a woman. And that’s a massive fact to overlook in the evaluation of rape and domestic violence cases. To me, it’s insulting the way that they claim situations like this ‘rape’ are on par ugh female rape. It’s disgusting and totally minimises the way rape affects so many women. I don’t feel like I made my point very eloquently here, finding it hard to find the words. But I hope it makes some sense.

    • Dana

      Maybe she begged him not to go because she didn’t want to be abandoned in Germany with no one nearby that she knew. Shocking, I know.

      • Meghan Murphy

        Right. Which, in and of itself, is a form of abuse. My abusive ex used to do that to me — threaten to leave me places where he knew I couldn’t get home from or in places that I knew no one, humiliating me and stranding me alone late at night, etc. It’s part of the control/threat.

      • Rachel

        Yep exactly! So many reasons, but nope people prefer to victim blame. Women who suffer domestic violence are really resilient and strong. Not just for leaving, because so many aren’t lucky enough to get to that point, but for surviving in any way they can in such terrifying circumstances. For adapting and doing all the seemingly crazy things they do to stay safe. I feel like it needs to be said and acknowledged far more than it is. There’s way too much against them, way too much shaming, and fa too many barriers.

  • tinfoil hattie

    He won’t be held accountable until 25-30 years from now, when a male comedian comments on it.

    • Meghan Murphy

      Exactly.

  • Shabana

    I was curious about this article because I wanted to understand why “you believe him this time”. I saw you wrote an article about not having to believe him for being raped because he was a man. That is a very offensive viewpoint for any rape survivor to hear, a man or woman. Rape is rape and it’s not something that gender has anything to with. I know nothing about LeBouf other than he used to be an actor and he seems to be disliked for possible mental illness/ drug and alcohol abuse.
    I was slapped in the face once so hard that I was bruised by my brother but only after I kicked his testes. I deserved that slap because I knew it would hurt him. My point is that you weren’t there, maybe she acted as foolish as me. Or maybe he is a woman-beater and she was a victim. You just never know unless you were there. I’m sure the facts will come to light.

    • Meghan Murphy

      That’s not what my article was about. Read it again. The historical context surrounding men raping men and the reasons WHY women are disbelieved are why, today, we, AS FEMINISTS, believe women when they say they were raped. Rape is not gender neutral.

      • Shabana

        “The historical context surrounding men raping men and the reasons WHY women are disbelieved are why, today, we, AS FEMINISTS, believe women when they say they were raped. Rape is not gender neutral.” M. Murphy

        Feminists aren’t so naive to think rape isn’t gender neutral. I was raped by an adult woman. Cased closed.

        • Priscila

          “Case closed”, because, obviously, your personal account overwheights millenia of counter-evidence.

          Tsc, those naive feminists.

        • Shut up, dudebro. You don’t get to ignore what millions of women are saying because of your bad experience. That’s like saying you were mugged by a black person, therefore all those murdered black men deserved to be killed.

    • The Raddest

      How old were you when you kicked your brother? I wrestled and got injured many times growing up with my brothers, but when you are children (around similar ages) you’re approximately the same size, and fighting is natural. Children cannot compartmentalize their feelings of anger efficiently, and because wrestling/testing what does/does not piss people off is a learning activity for children.

      If you were an adult and you kicked your brother in the groin, shame on you if you love your brother. And shame on him for slapping you back, if he’s an adult. Ball-kicking pain goes away – slapping you in the face so hard TO LEAVE A MARK is a disgusting response, and you’re stuck with that very visible bruise for some time. If I kicked my brothers in the balls they would probably collaborate to play a revenge prank on me, not physically abuse me.

      But also, you don’t have a romantic relationship with your brother. Two adults in an intimate relationship is different than siblings fighting at any stage of life. I’m sorry that you were raped (as stated below), but it IS mostly men who rape. You’ve had a rare experience where a woman raped you. Very sorry. But that doesn’t mean you can’t accept the facts and statistics. Read Meghan’s previous article about Shia again. And think about all the women in the world who have been raped. Mostly repeatedly, by someone they know personally. Men easily exaggerate their experience because they’ve never been legitimately scared and abused (as a woman has) before. And everyone jumped on the Shia bandwagon and believed him. While it took 17 women (at least) to convince people to believe that Bill Cosby was a rapist.

    • Dana

      Well, that’s not very helpful. Why did you kick your brother? If you just did it out of the blue and he slapped in response, then yeah, I wouldn’t call that abuse, I’d call it retaliation. (What YOU did was abuse.) If he hurt you in some way before you kicked him, that might be different. To this day my brother tells stories about me pulling a knife on him when we were kids. He always leaves out the way he was constantly beating me up, and sometimes completely out of the blue, like the time he bashed the side of my face with a chair and kids at school made fun of me for having a black eye. It got so bad that once I snapped and beat him with a metal thermos and got him backed into a corner begging me to stop. THAT is the context in which I allegedly pulled a knife on him–and I don’t even remember doing it. So much crap happened that I can’t possibly remember every fight. I was responsible in my parents’ eyes because I was four years older, but he was built like a brick s?!thouse and a lot more aggressive. And when things got really bad my parents, especially my stepmom, would just punish both of us. I had nowhere to go.

      I don’t believe Shia on the rape allegation because as another commenter pointed out, he did nothing to push her off or get away from her. I could say it was sexual assault since she gave him unwanted attention, yes, but not all sexual assault is rape, and it’s pretty obvious to me he has no respect for women or women’s issues, to the extent that he tries to appropriate our pain. Sound familiar… Transwomen do the same thing. How do you know a guy’s a woman-hater? He ignores YOUR pain but expects everyone to pay attention to HIM when he parrots you.

  • Erika

    Glad I’m not familiar with this guy.