Special millennials are so special (please tell me I’m special)

A mini documentary produced by The Guardian features five young “non-binary” people, who discuss what it means to be much more special than everyone else.


If you ever needed proof that “non-binary” identity is nothing more than a modern version of goth or YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME, MOMMMM, you’re in luck. On Friday, The Guardian released a video about being “non-binary.”

The young men and women featured in the video all claim they are neither male or female, despite all being clearly either male or female (albeit with different coloured makeup on).

Tamir Pettet, a young man with red makeup around his eyes, clearly signifying his lack of biological sex, explains:

“I knew I wasn’t a woman, but I knew I wasn’t a man. And both of those words made me feel uncomfortable.”

Tamir Pettet (Image: Screen Shot/The Guardian)

It’s unlikely any of us have ever experienced the horror of feeling uncomfortable before, but I’m certain the few who have will feel grateful at knowing there is a name for this: not “hungry,” “itchy,” “interested in corduroy jumpers,” or “objectified due to the fact of being female,” but “non-binary.”

Though left undefined by those interviewed in the video, The Guardian defines “non-binary” as: “Any gender identity which does not fit the male and female binary.” Considering “gender identity” has nothing to do with biological sex, only an internal feeling of being very special — much more special than everyone else — and that all the people featured in this mini doc are either male or female, the term “non-binary” could more easily and clearly be defined as: “A person with a haircut, a very pretentious-sounding voice, or purple lipstick.”

CN Lester, who I do not know, but who has preemptively blocked me on twitter, lest I accidentally feminism on her, is likely read as “non-binary” by intrigued strangers, based on her having a hair cut and a well-executed pretentious-sounding voice. An extra special, Lester has a more complex identity that is not actually an identity at all. She explains, “I don’t identify as genderqueer or transgender, but I am genderqueer and transgender.”

Interesting so interesting! Lester doesn’t reveal what either of these things mean or how it is she knows she is inherently “genderqueer and transgender,” but I believe this is what makes her so special and original. It’s like she is an art — if you don’t understand the art, it’s because you are not arty but normie, and explaining art to normies ruins the art which we are all to stand around nodding at artfully.

In a moment of what could have been clarity, a very annoying man in purple lipstick says, “Gender is a social construct we’ve created to violently oppress people.” His name turns out to be Travis Alabanza, and he doesn’t like that “cis people” are always saying we should do away with labels. (Which “cis people” are saying this, I do not know — most of us seem perfectly content with the words “male” and “female,” which simply describe a material reality that has been around for, oh I don’t know, hundreds of millions of years.) But Alabanza did not choose to be labelled male, and that label made him feel “horrible.” And, as we all know, if you have a feeling, the best way to deal with that feeling is to imagine a different reality exists and then demand everyone around you validate that imagined reality. Especially if you are a member of the oppressor class. Imagine how uncomfortable it would feel to be a member of that class! You did not ask to be an oppressor, after all. You asked to be a special.

If Alabanza followed his own words to their natural conclusion, he would have understood that, because gender exists to reinforce a violent hierarchy, it is not innate or a personal choice. He also would have understood that rejecting gender is not the same as rejecting sex. Sex exists regardless of the stereotypes imposed on us and roles we are socialized into.

Though these precious children claim no one can tell “what they are,” it is actually very easy to tell who is male and who is female, among them. Also, my prediction is that literally no one is as interested in them as they are. The delusion that strangers on the street will see a woman with short hair and glasses or a man with pigtails and gasp, “What creature is this!?” is pure teenage narcissism.

It’s strange, because while supposedly opposed to being labelled against their will, all these young specials insist on assigning words like “cisgender” (cis) on unwilling women, who reject the notion that they “identify” with the gender imposed on them. They also insist on inventing new, nonsensical labels in order to imagine their way out of the basic human fact of biological sex.

When Sarah Ditum reviewed Lester’s book in May, she wrote:

“… Isn’t the cis/trans terminology that Lester pushes a binary opposition in its own right? Lester defines as trans anyone ‘who has had to challenge or change the sexed and gendered labels placed upon them at birth to honour their true selves,’ which implies that, conversely, the ‘true selves’ of non-trans people do fit the labels given them. By this reasoning, any woman who challenges the restraints of gender (say, Mary Wollstonecraft arguing in 1792 for female education, or suffragettes pushing for the vote in 1905) is arguably not a woman at all. Her demands tell us only that she has been mislabelled, rather than reflecting the dues of women as a class.”

Indeed, it is troubling that those who claim there is such a thing as “non-binary” identity fail to understand that this implies most of the population is binary, as though gender stereotypes were something the rest of us accepted willingly. In reality, human beings are not “binary,” as far as gender goes — we all have personalities that do not fit perfectly within the categories of “masculine” and “feminine.” I, for example, am not always as passive, quiet, and polite as I must appear to most, most days.

Of course, the trouble is that those who identify as “non-binary” do not differentiate between sex and gender, so claim their bodies disappear along with their confused efforts to opt out of the gender hierarchy.

Emrys Travis, a young woman with very short blonde hair, talks herself in circles in an attempt to explain what “non-binary” means, (spoiler: it means nothing) saying:

“You can be assigned female, and you can be non-binary, and you can wear nothing but pink flowy dresses. I don’t have to drop the trappings of femininity or whatever in order to try and be non-binary [or] gender neutral, because what is ‘gender neutral’ anyway?”

This idea that embracing “femininity” is progressive if you claim you are doing it as a trans, genderqueer, or non-binary person is pushed hard in the video. Travis says that rejecting femininity constitutes “femmephobia” and Alabanza explains that he identifies as “transfemme” and “transfeminine,” but says this is “a femininity that wasn’t assigned to [him] at birth.”

In case you’re having trouble keeping up, the argument being made here is that femininity is not an oppressive, sexist social construct imposed on females in order to reinforce their subordinate status if femininity is chosen and repackaged as “queer.” Fun, right?

Dating gets tough when you don’t have a human body. As such, Alabanza and Lester both complain that their unwillingness to acknowledge they have genitals “confused” people they were trying to fuck. Alabanza’s called this “a real beautiful power for [him] to take back,” which I totally get, because mind-fuckery and gaslighting really does make narcissistic abusers feel powerful. I mean, what could feel more empowering than refusing to allow your potential sexual partners to have straight conversations with you about bodies and sexual preferences?

Pettet concludes by saying that “no matter who you are, language is so important.” But the most maddening thing about this documentary (and “non-binary” identity, more broadly), is that those who claim these new “queer” identities refuse to define the language they use in any rational or consistent way, and attempt to redefine words in order to ensure no one has any idea what they are talking about. These nouveau queers obsess over pronouns to the point that those who “misgender” (by using “he” instead of “she” or “they,” for example), are accused of committing acts of violence. Yet Alabanza complains that people pay too much attention to his pronouns (“they”):

“I get really scared when people reduce my transness to my pronouns, like, ‘Travis Alabanza, who identifies as them/they’… And I’m like, ‘Um, no you’ve missed it?!'”

So! Pronouns are not important (but please use correct pronouns), labels are bad when imposed (unless they are being imposed on women by a man in purple lipstick), and being “non-binary” is about feeling uncomfortable, having some kind of haircut, being feminine, but also not having genitals or even really a human body.

And there you have it: five insufferable people who want the entire world to obsess over their feelings, hair colour, and makeup as much as they do. Powerful.

Meghan Murphy
Meghan Murphy

Founder & Editor

Meghan Murphy is a freelance writer and journalist. She has been podcasting and writing about feminism since 2010 and has published work in numerous national and international publications, including New Statesman, Vice, Al Jazeera, The Globe and Mail, I-D, Truthdig, and more. Meghan completed a Masters degree in the department of Gender, Sexuality and Women’s Studies at Simon Fraser University in 2012 and lives in Vancouver, B.C. with her dog.

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  • Laurie

    Very funny, Meghan. Great play on words back at them. It is quite the mind fuckery this ridiculous never ending non binary Bullshit. I’ve come to the conclusion that evolution only created and very slim diversity where sex is concerned in humans. Male, Female, Inter-sexed. Heterosexual, Homosexual and Bisexual and that’s it.

  • BrainCantHandleIt

    This made my day. I read a radical feminist on tumblr saying something like “non-binary is the new emo/goth” and it’s so true! Same arguments — “this isn’t a phase, this is who I am, my existence is an act of rebellion and the normies’ brains explode when I walk by on the street!.” Hopefully enough people will grow out of it but it’s harder to let go of when the Guardian is making mini-docs about you.

    Meghan, your articles are always a breath of fresh air and I often yell “yes!” aloud to an empty room as I read them. Pardon me slipping back into an emo phase to say this, but I heart you!

  • Meghan Murphy

    Yep. But of course then we come back to the question of who is ‘binary’? It’s just not an accurate way of discussing gender, imo.

  • Meghan Murphy

    They will be ‘queer’ marriages, obv! #queeringtheburbs

  • Meghan Murphy

    So good. (Sidenote: I don’t believe Lester is ever treated like a man.)

  • Meghan Murphy
  • Meghan Murphy

    They’re all British, I think!

  • Yisheng Qingwa

    [passes you a bong while you wait]

  • bb

    That sounds beyond ridiculous! I don’t understand how people (men) can simultaneously say “Gender is a construct”, “gender is fluid”, “sex and gender are not the same thing” AND “but I am definitely a woman.” These dudes you describe just piss me off… and as you pointed out, the women who support them frustrate me like hell!!

    I am so, so glad I found FC. The week I found this site I had been informed that only transphobes refuse sex with “women” with penises, and that bodies are nothing to do with attraction… lol. I’m glad some people in the world still speak sense.

  • Omzig Online

    Did you read the previous article on this site by Raquel Sanchez called “If White Feminism is a Thing, Gender Ideology Epitomizes It”? You would really like it, I think. It was pretty spot-on about first-world problems.

  • Hekate Jayne

    Yes. Male privilege is sex without consequence, isn’t it?

    They not only don’t have pregnancy worries, but they know that if they decide to rape, that their male systems will protect them and help them get away with it.

    And the same male systems that protect males from taking responsibility for anything, are the same systems that insure that females are punished for having sex by denying us access to birth control and/or reproductive care and abortion.

  • Hekate Jayne

    I do not.

    Yet I am still pretty well liked. It must be my sparkling charm.

  • lk

    LMAO at otherkin.

    Well, at least otherkin are not asking health insurance to cover their surgeries to make them look like goats or whatever.

    They are not going to courts and demanding that their birth certificates be changed to show that they were really born mermaids or whatever.

    And they are not demanding that everyone in the real world call them by their otherkin identity.

    “why don’t these (clearly bored) people try filling their time with something else, like, I don’t know, volunteering?”

    The whole time I watched the video, I could not help but think: y’all have too much time on your hands. Instead of spending all this time navel-gazing and coming up with fancy language to describe yourself: transfemme, queer, etc….why not go out and do something for someone else?

    • Dana

      I mean, most non-binary people make do without any surgeries, that’s really not what is annoying about that trend.

      Genders have became collectibles to these people.

  • lk

    You mean, you arent dying to hang out with these people?!

  • lk

    As human beings we want to feel special, different and unique…and in many ways we are, no two people have the exact same dna, fingerprints or life experiences.

    But I think its silly to act like we don’t have many things in common, like we don’t have lots and lots of shared or similar experiences.

    I think it alienates us from one another when we begin to forget just how connected and similar we are.

    “Everyone is naturally unique, but when it is broadcasted and intentional, then it is narcissism.”
    Yes, and this narcissism seems to take over their whole world and makes them deaf to the concerns, needs or wants of others. I think if you spend too much time looking inward, you forget to look outward and care about the world and people in it.

  • TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsYoya

    What evidence do you have to support this idea? This is really bigoted. You can’t seriously be suggesting that transgenderism in America is being driven by south asian, east asian and middle eastern men.

  • Omzig Online

    My daughter is entering the 8th grade this year. At her school, they’ve started calling it “TRENZgender,” because several students in a clique will “transition” together as a group. To signify their transition, they wear black nail polish and die their hair bright colors (that part, at least, makes me feel a little nostalgic).

    Kids have their own special way of virtue signaling. But I think a social contagion has reached peak stupidity when it’s literally reached the playgrounds.

  • lk

    “I mean, don’t you want to know if you need birth control? What kind of protection for STDs?”

    You and purple sage bring up excellent points.

    Let’s not forget too that women are more at risk for STD’s than men.. parts of the skin of female genitalia is thinner and more delicate than male genitals..so it is easier for bacteria and viruses to travel. We need to know about genitals not only as it relates to pregnancy but dealing with avoiding std’s that come with serious consequences like HPV (the primary cause of cervical cancer) or STD’s that if untreated can lead to fertility issues in women.

    And can we just admit that there is something manipulative + dishonest about lying about or hiding your biological sex from a person you want to date? If you want to have an intimate relationship with someone, wouldn’t you want them to know who you are and then let them decide if they are interested in you?

    Let’s say that you are a trans person who can pass as the opposite sex. It seems strange to start a relationship on a lie…i.e, telling your partner you are a woman or a man when your biology says otherwise.

    • Hekate Jayne

      “Let’s say that you are a trans person who can pass as the opposite sex. It seems strange to start a relationship on a lie…i.e, telling your partner you are a woman or a man when your biology says otherwise.”

      Yep. And lying about it can be dangerous.


      Males are dangerous since they are so prone to violence.

      This is where male socialization is painfully obvious. Women are socialized from birth that you don’t go to a hotel room with a male that you don’t know well. And sometimes, even when you DO know them.

      Here’s another difference between males and women. If a woman goes to a hotel room with a male that she doesn’t know well and is stabbed to death, society will say “that slut deserved it! What did she expect?”

      But since this was a trans, he wasn’t judged the same way as we would be. When a male kills a woman, we always hear that he loved her, he is a good man, we don’t know the whole story, we shouldn’t judge him.

      I certainly don’t think that this trans deserved to be stabbed to death for withholding the fact that she was trans. He was the victim, he can’t be at fault.

      But I also think that it’s withholding information that is necessary knowledge for the person that you are fucking. In the same way that if I had sex with a male that didn’t tell me that he is married. I wouldn’t kill him. But I don’t have the propensity for violence that males do.

      • lk

        Yep, people love to claim that there is no such thing as female or male socialization..Bull…most women know that when they meet a guy they have been chatting with online for the first time, you meet him in a public place.

        Women are socialized to understand the risk of male violence and attempt to avoid it.

        And yes, if this had happened to a bio-woman, there would be zero sympathy for her b/c women are expected to know better.

        When women find out someone we were dating lied to us, we get pissed (and rightfully so!), but for the most part we will not murder, sexually or physically assault the person who lied to us.

        Men like Dwanya Hickerson (who are actually killing trans-identified!!) is who the TRA’s need to be raging at, not women.
        Manipulation and dishonesty have no place in intimate relationships….transidentified or not, your goal should not be to trick or fool something into sleeping with you. If being honest means that less people want to date you, then so be it.

  • eve shashah

    So true! It is complete nonsense for women to support this…its a continuance of allowing men to dominate ,determine, and define what being a woman is. The very thing women have been fighting against for decades. And the very thing they use to determine being a woman is so superficial… “dressing or acting like a woman” which is by definition what men have done for centuries to oppress women. Being a woman is not in how we dress, or style our hair, or cosmetics. It is an natural inherent biological PERMANENT origin that cannot be duplicated. I am claiming our gender, and am giving it back to women. It is not for rent or sale. Create your own gender, because you can’t have ours

  • eve shashah

    We all need to get mad and get vocal. I’m tired of these transgender men too… telling me I’m violating their rights by not accepting them as a woman or she. Well, they are violating our rights by claiming they are a woman. They are being intolerant of how we feel as a woman, and how we have felt since birth. Now that being said, I have no judgments on their life, or any I’ll will towards them but they cannot and should not be allowed to be called a woman. Often many transgender individuals want to hide their biological male origins, and conceal as if always being a woman. But they should claim a new name for their gender/orientation that is clear who they are biologically(changed or not) and who they are now. Be proud of what you are, but don’t say you are a woman. This gender is taken.

  • Hanakai

    Your assumption that there is a shortage of young, sexually available women in the USA is incorrect. Hookup culture is alive and well; clubbing culture and amorality are alive and well; college women continue to get dead drunk and become prey at frat houses; bimbo feminism which involves young women going along with whatever young men want sexually, visually and behaviorally in the name of sex-positivity, rules the day and informs a generation. And the Internet has allowed the explosion of porn and prostitution — these days men can order up specifically whatever they want sexually.

  • Virginia Howard

    Cupcakes are the bomb!

  • Meghan Murphy

    1) Women are taught to hate and be in competition with one another, not to show solidarity with other women, whereas boys learn and tend to follow the ‘bros before hoes’ rule.
    2) Men also behave in psychologically manipulative/abusive ways… Perhaps more often towards women rather than towards other men?

    You are correct, though, that men often learn to deal with conflict through violence, and are taught this is acceptable.

  • Meghan Murphy

    Yes. And also deeply grateful there was no such thing as social media when I was a kid/teenager.

  • lk

    I work at a high school and I find the internet generally speaking to be a double-edged sword for kids.
    It’s a great way for them to learn about all kinds of things and connect with kids who they might not be able to meet face to face. I work at a high school for at-risk kids and the internet helps them a lot with resources that they might not find out about otherwise (charity, welfare, scholarship, college info and etc).
    At the same time, it’s also kind of like the Wild Wild West..its much harder for parents to monitor what their kids consume on the internet, it is really easy for kids and teens to bully each other on the internet, silly things that kids do spread like wildfire online. Not to mention, all the creepers who take advantage of kids and teens who are just looking for friends and guidance online.

  • lk

    “We live in a predominantly white, affluent suburb with a top ranking school district.”
    Is this a class (maybe also race?) issue because I work at a high school for at-risk kids (lower income and working class, some homeless, some pregnant/with children and some with just very unstable homes..mostly black, Hispanic and new(er) immigrants)…I don’t think I have EVER heard a single kid talk about gender identity. Yes, they do talk about sex/dating/relationships etc…but none of this gender identity stuff.

  • Stroke_Your_Own_Ego

    Yes, I think “distraction” describes it really well. They hate their bodies, themselves, the way they’re treated, and they turn to gender theory to searching for answers and comfort. I think that part of the reason this happened is that there’s a gap in communication between the generations when it comes to older women explaining the more uncomfortable, limiting, oppressive realities of womanhood to younger women. Many non-binary millenials are girls who feel the dysphoria and disgust that often accompanies puberty, and who feel the frustration that comes with being a second class citizen. I think no one explained to them that these things are extremely common things for all women to feel. I know no one explained that to me. But finally learning to understand womanhood makes me feel so much less alone, and so much more grounded in my identity than the gender cult ever did.

    In an odd way, I think many of the non-binary females are searching for answers that will help them understand their womanhood, and understand sexism. I remember being in a queer space once, and I ventured to share some of what was on my mind, asking “doesn’t ‘non-binary’ necessarily limit the categories of “man” and “woman?” A few people glared at me, but most didn’t seem to know what to say. And there was one girl in particular, who identified as non-binary, who seemed really fascinated by what I was saying. She came up to me afterward and said “I hope you’ll come back.” She seemed really ready to hear what I had to say.

    I had another experience where I shared an allegorical film, with my drawings and poetry, that was all about being a lesbian in a society that isn’t built for us. There were no less than three trans men in the audience, who had already taken hormones, but at least two of them seemed to really love the film. One of them was smiling up at me from the audience. Another came up to me and told me they really connected with my piece and shook my hand. The third didn’t react, but didn’t jeer or anything either. Again, this was a piece about being a lesbian. You know, the thing these trans men probably identified as before exposure to gender theory.

    I get this sense that the GI phenomenon comes not just from exposure to genderist thinking, but also from a lack of dialogue about the deeper female experience, and a lack of meaningful female representation. Many of these young people get their ideas from media, and there’s a great lack of woman representation that goes beyond stereotypes. Even most “strong female characters” do little to challenge patriarchal conventions and don’t really cut all the way through to the human core.

    It’s all conjecture. But I really feel that if an alternative to gender theory was presented to these people, a good portion of them would go for it. Lesbians and bi women were very present in the feminist movement in past generations. Right now, the lesbians and bi women of my generation are frozen in an ideological iceberg, but if it thaws, we’ll have the ocean back.

    P.S. I think that non-binary males face a similar inter-generational miscommunication. Boys who don’t fit into the cooky cutter of masculinity were never taught that machismo is not what makes a man. Hence they think they’re not men.

  • FierceMild

    Can you give us an idea? Please? Is there VCR footage we could reference?

    • Lady Dark Helmet

      Eh eh… no. I meant you have no idea how glad I am that that crap wasn’ t around when I was a teenager. I was well within my 20s when social networks became a thing. Dodged a bullet for real.

  • FierceMild

    Not sure I’m following you on this one. Can you re-say, please?

    • Wren

      Sorry, I’m not being very clear, and I’m probably consolidating the posts of several commenters who’ve had recent high school experiences. But I’m getting the impression that these schools that have been infiltrated with trans ideology and have turned into some kind of wild west of sexual identity experimentation, and this has coincided with a lot of pressure and bullying. And I’m certain that many parents are pissed and are calling in their concerns.

      I just don’t buy it that there aren’t some strong minded parents, administrators, guidance counselors, or teachers who aren’t completely fed up. I mean, what does a parent do if their child comes home crying cause they’re bullied for being “cis,” and now this child wonders if he/she could be transgender?? If I was a parent I would be freaking out over what I would consider a toxic climate (and let’s not forget that there exist sensible loving parents who wouldn’t call themselves feminists, but can see that this is all dangerous to youth). I’d be marching to the school and speaking with people.

      But it’s not like being teased for race, or class, or body size, or ability, all of which the aforementioned hot topics have a clear moral line that cannot conscionably be crossed and therefore enables education professionals to take a stance and implement a strategy to address it (this is of course assuming they are interested in doing so, and not racist, classist, etc. themselves). But the trans agenda may have rendered the majority of educators impotent, or they agree, or they just don’t want to touch the topic with a ten-foot poll.

      Either way, in schools where this has become a phenomenon of social contagion, it must be incredibly disruptive to the community of students. The histrionics of a child “transitioning” would be enough to undermine the delicate classroom management of even the most skilled educator. Maybe it hasn’t reached a critical point yet? Maybe there have been interventions at some schools?? Idk, but it’s not like these youth are alone on an island without access to humans with fully operating frontal lobes, hence my Lord of the Flies reference.

      • FierceMild

        Well, that was crystalline, and I agree with some reservations. I think it depends on the culture of the school. For public schools I think you’re right in target, but for charter and private schools the game is different.

      • Leo

        When were you in school? It’s been full of drama for ages, I’d be utterly stunned if teachers noticed/cared. I mean, my teachers (90s, UK) ignored that I was being bullied for my disability, after my operation literally didn’t bother to find out why I wasn’t in school for six months, and I only got any help at all because my mum insisted, they are not going to pick up on anything like more subtle bullying, let alone manage to understand this transgender issue. It’ll operate on a protocol, tick-box level at most, and they’ll probably toe the party line. ‘Delicate classroom management’ typically involves shouting, anyway.

        If most teachers have fully functioning brains, I can’t say it’s obvious.

  • Stroke_Your_Own_Ego

    That article is absolutely heartbreaking. God this hits home. I know so many people my age who transitioned. A good number of whom were people I was really close to. I don’t know if exposure to this kind of writing would have helped those cases, but I feel like it isn’t nearly available enough.

    from the article:

    “being entirely isolated from lesbian (especially butch lesbian) role
    models and community, seeing boys with similarly ADD-looking issues
    treated with much more understanding than I ever was, stuff like that. I
    needed help finding a healthy lesbian community, resources for coping
    with being female and ADD, and support learning to live with sexual
    trauma. Just locking up my laptop wouldn’t have helped me get those
    needs met.”

    I think she’s right to say that it wasn’t an internet exposure= decision to transition situation, just that she wasn’t exposed to the butch lesbian representation that would have really helped her to understand herself.

    I think the gender cult tries to claim copyright law on all feelings of loneliness, social isolation, body-hatred and dysphoria, and suggests to teens that feel these things that transitioning will help soothe their torment and improve their quality of life.

    • Wren

      “being entirely isolated from lesbian (especially butch lesbian) role
      models and community…”

      This makes me think of facebook banning women who used the term dyke.
      It’s just so upsetting.

  • Meghan Murphy

    Yes. God, what a nightmare. I feel awful for teenage girls these days.

    • ptittle

      I’m currently reading “Only Ever Yours” by Louise O’Neill. Should be mandatory for “every teenage girl these days”!!!!!

      Mothers, give it to your daughters! Now! Don’t wait for their birthday!

  • Lucy Potato

    Thank you. This was a delight to read.

  • Hekate Jayne

    Oh my god. I am so very thankful that there was no Internet when I was younger! I remember most of what I did.

    I’m glad that no one else knows about it. Or has seen it. Or can prove it.

  • -Asphyxia-

    Lol. I help a high functioning autistic college student remotely, and He’s about 10 years younger than me. I told him I remembered when the internet became popular in households, and his mind was blown. (Your CD comment made me think of this. Damn. I had Jagged Little Pill on cassette! lol)

    • FierceMild

      So did I! My husband still has it in CD.

  • -Asphyxia-

    Is it the 90’s again? (Crosses fingers!) 😉

  • Sabine

    Dear god, what utter gibberish being spouted left, right and centre. These people are simply narcissistic, delusional, spoiled brats who have been brought up on “look at me!” social media and being told how unique and special they are and how everything is about how THEY feel and it’s rotted their mind tanks. Jaysus! What insufferable, pretentious BORES!!! Look at meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Listen to meeeeeeeeeeeee! Er, no ta.Listening to my brain cells die as they attempt to untangle and process such self-obsessed, confused and hollow ramblings is not one of my preferred pastimes, atch.

  • Tobysgirl

    This reminds me of the art student who placed a pineapple on a table at an art exhibit of students’ work. The student wanted to see what would happen, and, sure enough, the curators put the pineapple in a display case. (Perhaps it thought it was a special pineapple.) The question becomes, Who is more intellectually poverty-stricken? These oh-so-special young people — thank god I never had delusions of being special when I was young! — or the adults who film documentaries about them?

  • Tobysgirl

    I and the kids I knew didn’t have time to be this whiny — we were trying to figure out how to support ourselves. We certainly did not have these young people’s privilege, and the economic situation was pretty bleak when I was young; there seemed to be a “recession” every 10 years. A millennial told me he couldn’t believe how lazy the other kids in college were (which I found kind of funny). Personally, I think these young people need to cool it with the hair dye and makeup and find out what the real world is all about, and maybe help to change it.

  • Tobysgirl

    I can’t believe people are still wearing the same fashions I saw in the East Village (Alphabet City) in the 1980s. Kind of depressing that they can’t come up with anything new. Saw it all long ago — funky hair colors, piercings everywhere, ripped clothes. Are they still wearing bras on the outside of the dress?

    • FierceMild

      Heehee. That reminded me of a friend in his longunderwear with a bra over it doing an interpretative dance to Prince’s ‘when Doves Cry’.

  • Tobysgirl

    Yeah, I don’t like to think of young people this way, and it’s good to remember that some of them are very sensible and clear-sighted.

  • Alienigena

    Do you know who is most special and downtrodden of all? Men in patriarchy. According to someone called Terry Real anyone can be the feminine underclass in patriarchy.

    “It’s important to remember that the feminine side of the equation can be man, woman, boy or girl. This equation can play out between a man and a woman, but it’s not embodied; it can play out between a man and a woman, it can play out between two men, it can play out between a mother and a child, it can play out between two races, it can play out between two cultures, it can play out in your head.”

    You are not the underclass because you are female but because you play the feminine role in patriarchy. So fetuses that are aborted because they are female (female genitalia, XX) are what? Females who are killed by their male partners are playing the feminine part? Female politicians who are demonised or over-sexualised because of the fact that they are playing the feminine role? Tell that to Hillary Clinton, wasn’t she called a mean, nasty woman during the US election? How is that stereotypically ‘feminine’?

    Salon.com just gets weirder and more irrelevant everyday.

  • Wren

    If only we could let all the self-injuring and suicidal girls know that REVOLUTION is an option, and we would be there right with them!!!

    • FierceMild

      That’s what I’m trying to do, sister! VIVA LA RÉSISTANCE!

  • rottenbone

    I do wonder. And most of the time, when I think about it, I come up with the conclusion that at least I have both feet on the ground. It’s kind of a weird comparison, but I like thinking of it as gravity: repressive rightwing environment is strong gravity, “open-minded” is weak gravity. Well when you’re under strong gravity, it’s usually hard to move forward, but you can still do it. When you’re light-years away from reality and gravity, you’re just endlessly spinning, going nowhere.
    Also, I’m sorry you’ve been in a similar situation. I hope it has gotten better now.

    • FierceMild

      Oh vey much better, thank you. I haven’t lived under the heel
      If anything (accept Patriarchy) for a good long while now.

      I’m glad to see you’re making your way into your own freedom as well. I do think that the internet makes it more difficult to control the information kids get and that’s excellent.

  • DeColonise

    Yep, And I’m also grateful there was no Internet when I was young.
    It started coming into schools when I was a teen but it was still mostly a luxury thing and there were no google or Facebook or YouTube or anything like that.
    Altavista was the thing!

  • Stroke_Your_Own_Ego

    Yes, I think that the demographic reach of the gender identity ideology is broader than one might expect.

    One thing I actually disagree with from this article is the idea that someone needs a lot of idle time on their hands to become entrenched in the gender cult. One of the scary things about tumblr is that it conveys information in bite sized bursts, like TV ads. The ideas that are informing the gender identity phenomenon don’t come from essays or texts that take hours to read. They’re mainlined straight to the brain in the form of easy to digest one-line slogans and short monologues. Yes, many of the people who I know who identify as non binary are internet addicts with quite a bit of free time, but many others are actually very busy people. They work part time jobs, go to school, and do community activities simultaneously. But a few minutes spent scrolling through their phone is enough. The phone’s always right there in their pocket after all.

    Also, there’s the community aspect. When I was in the gender cult, I never went on tumblr or any kind of social media. I avoided it all. I checked facebook maybe once every two months. But I learned things second hand through people who did use tumblr.

    • FierceMild

      That’s very interesting. What would you gauge is the depth of understanding these kids have of what they’re actually saying?

  • Yisheng Qingwa

    Mine is blue and purple. I am also super boring. 😉

  • Yisheng Qingwa


  • FierceMild

    I think this issue will be wherever there is injustice and stereotyping based on sex. Gender is the problem that these kids are trying to identify out of. They don’t see that because 1) they’re kids and 2) society is designed to make sure we don’t see that.

    When we tell girls they are composed of stupidity and fuckability they will feel that they aren’t girls because they aren’t that. When boys are told they must not only inflict violence on others but enjoy it to be boys; some will conclude that they are not boys because they want to bake cookies and cuddle bunnies.

  • FierceMild

    Okay, full disclosure, I’ve never seen it either. I don’t have a TV because it gives me the mads and there’s a kid in my house who does’ t need me paying groups of corporations to come into our home and teach her how to hate herself, the planet, and other people. It just struck me as completely likely that a show with that title was prolly something like “Leave it to Beaver” on POMO bathsalts.

  • Wren

    I haven’t seen Thirteen Reasons Why yet, but I know there was a lot of concern about the suicide scenes and teens getting a copycat idea, but in reality many people whom I’ve talked to have discussed the focus the show has on rape culture and the effect on young girls. I really should watch it, but this gave me some hope that when a show or book (it was a book first) really hits at the truth, we (women and girls) respond to it. Same goes for the Handmaid’s Tale.

    • Meghan Murphy

      I watched it. It was kind of cheezy (though I did enjoy it fine enough — I’m not exactly the audience it was made for) , and (I felt) too focused on ‘bullying’ rather than sexism, but I would think (hope) it could be useful for teenagers to watch and discuss in class, at school.

  • Wren

    Soooo, you didn’t read Julie Katz’s extraordinary reply to you, did you? Or you didn’t understand it??

    Narcissism is ok with you? Huh. The only people I’ve ever heard say that are narcissists.

    “Everything is novelty for you as a teenager and you’re more attuned to things”

    Teenagers are more attuned to what? Are you saying you’re a confused teenager who’s more attuned to her own confusion than us grownups? And then are you saying that as you age you become “more in agreement with the world” meaning we (me, other commenters, Meghan Murphy) adults are all dull, agreeable conformists? Have you not understood the nature of our feminism and why it’s RADICAL??

    Additionally, this makes absolutely no sense:
    “Also some people struggle to adapt to society or adapt less due to being on spectrum or other stuff with their mental health or difference. I don’t think this rebelling is wrong. I think it’s actually good as you know gender norms suck and society sucks in general.”

    What a nonsensical mess. Are you talking about autistic people? Are you saying autistic people are mentally ill? Are you saying people with real mental health problems are just rebelling? Cause that really, really pisses me off. And yes we know gender norms suck, hello, but what does that have to do with your previous rambling? I refuse to play connect-the-thought dots.

    Maybe think before you type, and if you can’t formulate a cohesive thought, maybe you just don’t have any.

    • SpecialSnowflake

      I kinda feel there’ll be no dialogue but i’ll respond to this anyway.

      I’m going to read it and respond to it. I haven’t finished reading it last time.

      You’re too quick to assume things. Everyone has narcissistic traits to different extents. Sorry I just look at that from psychological point of view. That’s why I accept it as it is when talking about people. I wanted to pay more attention to non-conforming aspect.

      I meant that when you experience something for the first time you have an initial reaction that is the most genuine one. That’s just my thoughts. Yours can be different. That’s fine. I’d like to hear them and maybe change my opinion a bit.

      No, I didn’t mean that. Sorry if you understood it that way. I meant becoming more flexible and growing a thicker skin as you get used to a lot of things around you. Same here. I’d like to hear about your thoughts and experience if you’d like to share.

      I understand the nature of radical feminism and why it is radical in all the meanings of this word. I was just talking about people in the video not their ideology or their ‘feminism’. I think the main confusion under my original comment is due to the fact that I was talking about people, not ideology.

      I meant that people on spectrum usually don’t pick social norms the way other people do. I actually was thinking about only one mental health problem that I know of. Yes, first-handedly too. Correct assumption. I needed to clarify it. Certainly not all the mental health problems.

      This is what my logic was: Gender norms suck –> These people are also struggling with gender. They chose identity politics as a way to cope because it’s just trendy and alluring. The fact that they’re in conflict with gender norms still remains. –> This conflict still has a good
      nature cause gender norms suck.

      Also they can experience bullying or ostracism in social groups for their way of presenting themselves, for being ”out of touch” with the rest of the social group. It’s not a good thing. It can’t be compared to class or race or sex oppression. It’s still fairly traumatising because we’re social animals and we can only function socially.

  • Dana

    “”How can we expand the idea that biology does not matter?””

    It is one of those cart before the horse colorblind things, you see. Actually stating that something doesn’t matter and pretending it doesn’t is way better than working towards a world in which it actually doesn’t matter.

  • Odds Bodkins

    these are the least interesting and most self-absorbed people I have ever seen.
    I’m from the UK and these accents suggest fairly privileged upbringings. in the actual, meaningful sense of the word ‘privilege’.

  • Leo

    “I have concern for the young, who should be full of energy and idealism and ready to take on the monstrously huge and heroic tasks of saving the planet and her lifeforms and Nature from the devastation of global warming and the Industrial Growth Monster, and dismantling the patriarchy and its war machine and brutal economics.”

    I feel like the way society is slanted impacts on that. Yes, there were awesome radical boomers and still are, but not all were, and there’s rather a lot of them. My generation retreats partly because we feel powerless – or conversely, they resort to these angry/rioty tactics for the same reason. Some of the battles were already won, but that leaves some of the more insidious, hard to dismantle stuff for us, the sheer weight of cultural inertia, and there’s a lot of ground it now turns out those in power were just not planning on ceding. Complicating that is that the less powerful looked at what they saw as the risk/reward of trying to change the system, went right back in their cages and shut the door (even RadFems don’t consistently defy patriarchy, why should we expect other women to do what we won’t? Never mind getting intersectionality working properly, across the board on other issues. I could try out my idealism, I’d get ignored if I was LUCKY, but quite likely get just as much pushback as anywhere else). Iraq was a defining moment for me, I was 16 then – what difference did anyone’s idealism make? What difference did even plain old common sense make?

    Theory is confused, tactics are poor, partly I think because my generation just plain don’t know what to do, and the old way did not work sufficiently, even if they remembered it well enough – which they don’t because they’re badly educated.

  • Leo

    I think sex/gender dysphoria is a mental health issue (poss. neurological factors, as with other mental illness), but the transtrenders aren’t dysphoric, they’re just young people trying to fit in with their own social group (just as young women are trained to – we really do need to encourage women and girls to be less afraid of not fitting in). They may still be unhappy, have issues in their life, it might be quite understandable in the circumstances, but this is ‘normal’, not mental illness.

  • Leo

    You could just have Googled that, though it sounds like you knew what it means really.
    So yes, this is a disability rights issue.

    This is an excellent example of what I was thinking of above, about those in radical feminist spaces not necc. being more trustworthy on intersectional issues, so idealism not working out. Older people can be unwilling to look at our perspectives. I can see why other Millenials get fed up and take the po-mo shouty route.

    Having twelve children for religious reasons could not be more patriarchal, either, it’s not subversive.

  • Meghan Murphy

    Do you really not know the answer to this question?

  • ptittle

    Look up the word “need”. It’s not a synonym for “want”.

  • ptittle

    Worse, young men don’t read Beauvoir, Dworkin, Morgan, etc.

    (let alone Stoltenberg, Jensen, etc.)

  • ptittle

    Yes. It does. There have been countless TV/films that follow a radfem line of thinking; none of them get produced… The Handmaid’s Tale is a fluke.

    And THAT took 30 FRICKIN’ YEARS to see the screen!!!!! Despite being written by perhaps the MOST FAMOUS CANADIAN WRITER ALMOST EVER!!!!!

  • ptittle

    Got to the end of your post and had a flash of a play about a school guidance counselor today, just sitting there. stunned and silent. for sixty minutes. where to begin. what to say.

  • lk

    It’s not a matter of girl’s having little self-respect.

    What is disrespectful is violating your partner’s trust by taking photos that she sent to you and placing them on the internet,or showing them to your friends.

  • marv

    The USSR was never democratic socialist though. An oligarchy.

    The core problem with sex class is male collectivist dogma and corresponding social hierarchies. The dismantled USSR hasn’t changed it that respect. I can’t ‘imagine’ you changing either. Rut stuck.

  • Omzig Online

    Thank you for this list, Ik. My daughter enters the 8th grade this year, and I’m constantly wondering if/when she’ll be swallowed up by the cesspool of adolescence.

  • Meghan Murphy


  • Ennui

    I really hate non-binary, it makes dating even more challenging as a lesbian. All of the GNC women now claim to be ‘non-binary.’

  • Ennui

    Male or female? Non-binary does not exist.

  • Meghan Murphy

    Yes, clearly I am the ‘butthurt’ one…

  • Meghan Murphy

    Haven’t deleted any of your comments bb… I’ve noticed, though, that everyone who leaves ridiculous tantrumy comments assumes their comments have been deleted after having been in moderation for maybe an hour or two. (All comments are moderated, so they only go up once a person can manually approve.) You all are clearly well aware that your comments *should* be removed. Sorry for the traumatic wait, you’ve certainly proved me wrong re: the narcissism and entitlement I mocked in this post.

  • Meghan Murphy

    We’re socialists, dummy.