Women’s lunch causes mass death

On Sunday, a mass genocide was perpetrated, as some women gathered for lunch. JK Rowling, an author more commonly known as the most dangerous woman in the world, organized the gathering at The River Café, in London,  following the launch of the Respect My Sex women’s rights campaign. One of the campaigners involved, Maya Forstater, who was fired for claiming humans cannot change sex, and won her employment tribunal appeal in June, said, hatefully: “It was getting together, celebrating each other, keeping our spirits up and having a nice lunch. It was amazing, a lovely day.”

Labour MP Rosie Duffield, who revealed herself a science-denier after saying only women had a cervix, was also in attendance, calling the lunch the “best Sunday off in ages” with a “host of wonderful sisters.”

Death lunch, feat. Kathleen Stock, Maya Forstater, Alison Bailey, Helen Joyce, Liane Timmermann, Angela Wild, Suzanne Moore, Julie Bindel, and JK Rowling

Photos posted online revealed smiling women and wine. The hate did not stop there, of course. There was also pasta, hugs, and laughter.

A number of activists died on the spot. Others were locked up, as per The River Café lunch hour policy.

A Twitter user with “big tits” pointed out, aptly, that only billionaires can afford lunch, and that it is very rude to steal money from the poor to buy wine and Italian food.

The famed Bronwen of Twitter noted that Rowling was not being attacked for having lunch, but for having lunch with a hate group. I can attest to this, as, having met several of the women present at the lunch, I know for certain that they hate things like firing women for understanding how biology works.

Renowned woman-expert, Simon, warned that some of the women in attendance openly believe transgenderism is not a real thing, but rather imaginary nonsense that exists in the heads of people who believe the only difference between men and women are pantyhose.

Meanwhile, a comedian named Rosie, who does not seem unstable in the least, burst into tears at the image of stable, unterrifying women enjoying their lives free from the kind of mental health issues that cause one to cry about lunch.

I feel like women who can not only afford to eat lunch, but who also have the privilege of smiling from time to time, demonstrate that indeed the women’s movement has gone too far. Feminism is not about lunch. It certainly isn’t about smiling or enjoying the company of other women. It is about crying and tweeting.

I hope you enjoyed your death lunch, “women” (whatever that is).

Meghan Murphy

Founder & Editor

Meghan Murphy is a freelance writer and journalist from Vancouver, BC. She has been podcasting and writing about feminism since 2010 and has published work in numerous national and international publications, including The Spectator, UnHerd, Quillette, the CBC, New Statesman, Vice, Al Jazeera, The Globe and Mail, and more. Meghan completed a Masters degree in the department of Gender, Sexuality and Women’s Studies at Simon Fraser University in 2012 and is now exiled in Mexico with her very photogenic dog.