We cannot reject the toxic culture pornography has created without rejecting pornography itself

If pornography were empowering men would be standing around jacking off on each other and we wouldn’t get a look in.

It is difficult to know where to begin to describe the toxicity of our current cultural reality. I suppose as good a place to start as any would be the aggressive and deliberate attempt by the pornographers to forcibly inject themselves into the mainstream. This shouldn’t surprise any of us when we all know that forcible penetration is the core action that defines the act of rape, and that the pornographers, in all of their actions, are doing to women what the rapist does to the individual. They are out to destroy us, and to have fun doing it.

I was part of a demonstration that took place last Friday outside PornHub’s new pop-up store in Soho, New York. I’m glad to say we delivered our brief presentations to the media before we went into the store, because if we had done it the other way round I would have been so angry that — Uma Thurman style — I’d have had trouble articulating myself. When we went into the store my eye was drawn to the large black bomber jackets with the PornHub logo plastered across it. On the back of the jackets there were scores and scores of much smaller words beneath the logo.

I learned a new word that day: bukkake.

I googled it today, and found different but similar descriptions of the term. First up was “A sexual practice that involves a group of men ejaculating on one person, usually a woman.” This was from Dictionary.com which, presumably, thinks “usually” is synonymous with “almost always.” Urban Dictionary, in a spectacularly insulting example of illogic, tells us bukkake means, “When a group of guys cum on a girl for her own pleasure.” It is also, I am told by anti-porn activists, used to describe situations where dozens of men ejaculate into a cup, physically restrain a woman, hold her mouth open with gadgets and forcibly pour the semen down her throat.

The nature of such behaviour was understood when it was first practiced. Another definition reads: “To gather around a woman and cum on her face as a group. Originally used in Japan as a form of punishment, it is now performed for kinky pleasure.”

We need to loudly voice a question and more loudly voice its answer — the question being, whose pleasure? Why have we allowed ourselves to be sold the lie that women enjoy a degrading form of torture?

The degradation is the torture — let us be clear about that. Strangers’ semen ejaculated over any of us cannot cause us physical harm. The harm is psychological, emotional, and intentional.

A whole raft of lingo has sprung up to describe the degradation of women in porn, and our reactions to it. “Mudskipper” apparently means, “A term used to describe a girl after an extreem [sic] facial come shot, gasping for breath as a mudskipper fish does when on land.” This word is clear in its connotations: it describes a woman in an ordeal, or trying to escape or recover from an ordeal, in a situation where she is helpless.

I have focused on one word I saw on that jacket, but there were scores of them. A lot of the language on PornHub’s website binds racism and sexism together in ways that are frankly grotesque. Some of it refers to incest and child sexual abuse directly and explicitly. The words on that jacket were more general terms; some described acts, others described situations — all of them vile and degrading and abusive. These are jackets we women are expected to move through the world watching men wearing. These are jackets designed for men to put on their own backs and move through the world alongside us — walking advertisements of how much they despise us.

I have a couple of things I want to say to men and women.

To women, I would say: I know why so many of us are silent. We are silent because we are afraid of bullying and harassment. Most of us don’t watch porn. We know that pornography is sexualized violence, which is the biggest reason why we avoid seeing it, but we cannot stay silent. We don’t have the luxury of saying nothing, because saying nothing has a price tag attached to it that we can’t afford to pay. And to women who do watch porn, I would say there is something distorted and malformed in our sexuality when we are taking pleasure in visual depictions of ourselves being treated as subhuman.

We women ought to outright reject the lie that men have some kind of right to jack off to our degradation, much less engage in it ourselves. And we need to wake up fast if we’ve been further sold the lie that this is empowering. If pornography were empowering men would be standing around jacking off on each other and we wouldn’t get a look in. Porn has been bleeding into the mainstream for decades; now it is involving itself in one final aggressive push to stake its claim on the high street. Every woman has an obligation to defend herself against this. We cannot reject the toxic culture pornography has created without rejecting pornography itself.

To men who don’t watch porn, I know why you’re silent. Enough of you have said or intimated that you too are frightened, though yours is a different kind of fear. I only have this to ask: Do you think your fear of ridicule is more important than society itself? And to porn-watching men — which includes most men — I have this to say: You have sexualized every bit of contempt towards us women that you could muster, and, to add insult to injury, called it entertainment. You are training yourselves to be predators and forcibly turning us into your prey. You have weaponized your desire and, in doing so, you are killing the intimate connection between us. You are destroying us and destroying yourselves. You are killing love itself.

Rachel Moran is the founder of SPACE International (Survivors of Prostitution Abuse Calling for Enlightenment) and the author of Paid For: My Journey Through Prostitution.

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  • Missy

    So many men today are completely ruined by porn culture and it has made male sexuality all the more deranged to the point where it’s completely intolerable and endangers women worse than ever before. It has served the purpose of men seeing women as nothing but potential sex partners, or rather sex objects, a collection of body parts instead of sentient human beings who deserve decency and respect.

    Porny men, which unfortunately consists of most men today, disgust me so much that I would much rather remain safely celibate than putting myself in a situation where one of these porn-obsessed creeps tries to get me involved in his kinky sadism, then tries to force himself on me when I refuse. I’ve read many accounts of women and even young girls who feel the same way. Even though they want a boyfriend, they just can’t take the risk due to the way too many men and boys are so sexually depraved these days all thanks to easily accessed internet porn, newly invented extremely degrading and harmful kinks, and the anything sexual = empowerment BS that Libfems spew.

  • Claudia Manion

    This stuck out to me but given it’s Rachel Moran speaking, I think she meant something more immediate, as in semen doesn’t cause instant physical pain.

    • cday881@gmail.com

      What if you semen it in the eye?

  • Rachael

    This is a good point and shouldn’t be overlooked: the notion that porn sex is decidedly “cool” and anything else isn’t.

  • marv

    You reek of white male privilege living comfortably in a developing country of underprivileged people of colour.

    You dismiss male systemic sexual violence against women and children because you don’t experience it as a member of the elite oppressor class causing the harm. Voices are crying out in lands of sexist desolation and your ears are plugged up with liberal propaganda.

    I oppose the proselytizing of the class warfare denialism you are proclaiming.

  • Rachael

    You are an idiot. And you are not listening.

  • Wren

    NO WAY.
    Pedophilia is rampant, child rape is on the rise, child pornography is everywhere and NOT hard to find, prostitution is epidemic, college rape is REALITY. All of this is WOMEN’S REALITY.

    We oppose all forms of sexual exploitation because they are MAJOR issues that affect ALL WOMEN AND GIRLS, people you don’t give a shit about.

    We are not being hysterical. This is not irrational fear. How like a man of you to say we are spreading unnecessary fear like a contagion!! I assure you that most of the women and girls in Thailand are also terrified of men like you, and it has nothing to do with American propaganda.

    Thailand has a huge problem with trafficking and prostitution with minors and young women, and I’m disgusted by it. You should be embarrassed. I don’t give a fuck about cultural respect, I only care about women and girls. I’m glad our government is trying to deter anyone in Thailand from buying and using children for sex. Finally we’re doing something good.

    I can see from your previous posts that you are an apologist for the sex industry. You defend commercial rape of the women and girls of your own country. You make me sick. Do not come here with this disgusting rhetoric and expect us to buy any of it. Go elsewhere on the internet and pretend to be some authority on sex work, but we here know you are just evil.

    • Robert Lindsay

      “child pornography is everywhere and NOT hard to find”

      Tell us where it is, then. My experience has been that there is pretty much no such thing as true CP on the regular Internet. You would have to look extremely hard and go to some pretty shady and weird places to even see posed naked teenage girl porn. If it exists at all on the aboveground Net, you probably need a password or an invite to find it.

      AFAICT real CP doesn’t even exist on the real Internet.

  • BornACrone

    I still can’t believe that we can get so screwed up as a culture that we can’t tell the difference between sex and porn, and that saying you’re anti-porn is interpreted as meaning you’re anti-sex. I hate shit junk food, too — does that make me anti-eating?

    We are a Junk Food society, and we’re a Junk Sex society. And a diet of either when society is soaked to the gills in them is no good for you, body or soul.

    Perhaps theoretically it’s possible to have sex as part of an entertaining story where the sex is shown well and humanely … but in the culture we’re in now? Where it takes several hundred accusations of rape before even one sticks and men still get off with a “retirement bonus” of several million dollars while the women get nothing whatsoever for having their careers ripped apart before their eyes? In a world where men can rape children and still run for Senate and sit in the White House? Where men regard us as consumable commodities which are shoved down their throats like hot dogs at a competitive eating contest and then belched and shat out the next day without a second thought? Where bringing new life into the universe is considered an act of degradation and obscenity?

    No. It’s NOT possible. Not in the universe we live in.

  • BornACrone

    ” … it’s there and cannot be just brushed aside by an act of will on the part of a determined man.”

    I agree with you. But it can be at least understood as important and of great significance. I’ll be honest here — all I ever wanted from a romantic partner, and something I can say at the age of 51, long past my sexual sell-by date, that I never got even once, was for a guy to at the very least just GIVE A SHIT about it. Just understand that this is damned hard, that it makes things awful for us, and that we have a mountain of hateful manure to get past in order to even relax enough around one of them to be able to contemplate having sex with him. Appreciate that when a woman agrees to sex with a man, she is taking a risk that could end with her head being put through drywall without a jury in the world convicting him of doing anything wrong because once she got naked with him, she signed away all ownership over her body forever, and he could stab her to death and call it “rough sex” and get away with a two-week jail sentence. Appreciate that this is the level of trust that a woman must show a man when she agrees to sex with him.

    But what you get when you try to at least even skirt the topic, no matter how subtly and gently is, “WELL, I DIDN’T DO IT! WHADDAYA WANT ME TO DO, HUH?” or my absolute clueless-jackass favorite, “Why do you let that bother you?” like he wants me to keep this bullshit out of his way so he can just get laid and not have to think too much or give a rat’s ass about what I might be feeling or confronting. They either wanted to sail in like Superman and make the problem disappear entirely (for their own convenience, so they can stop having to give a shit about it), or they just wanted me to just STFU about it.

    What it all boiled down to was that they just wanted my pussy, and I and everything about sex that related to me and my experience was a bunch of annoying bullshit to be kicked out of the way. Brushed aside.

    We DON’T want men to brush it aside. They can’t brush aside everything negative that’s ever happened to me. I don’t expect a man to magically brush aside my lifelong back problems, my epilepsy, or my screwed up heart valve. We want the opposite of brushing it aside — we want them to just once in a fucking blue moon trying GIVING A HALF-CRAP ABOUT IT instead of either getting defensive, angry, or guilt-ridden. Just GIVE A GODDAMNED SHIT ONCE IN A WHILE instead of going all, “Why are you telling me about this? I didn’t do it!” Well, you didn’t physically fuck up my mitral valve either, but maybe you can give a damn about that, too.

    But like I said, I’m 51 and single with no indication that that will ever change, so we can all see how common men like that are in the world.

    They really have no idea how to just give a shit. And I think that’s as the root of the appeal of pornography — that she’s just a three-dimensional woman-shaped blank that doesn’t have to be regarded as a person with a mind, opinions, experiences, and a life or ambitions at all. She’s just a big blank spot about which no shits need be given.

  • Hanakai

    Anyone who is basically decent and good, male or female, sees pornography for the ugliness it and finds it revolting. Anyone who is decent and good gets that pornography is filmed prostitution that harms women and that perverts any normal healthy sexuality.

    The sexual arousal of a sexually healthy normal person involves genuine affection, seeing the partner as a person with feelings and reciprocity of desire. The healthy person is aroused by feelings, by touch, by a physicality that involves the heart, mind and spirit as well as the body. Only people whose sexuality and hearts are twisted by the pathological values of capitalism and patriarchy gets sexual gratification from watching the degradation of people on film.

    Porn culture is very very sick. And men who use porn are terrible lovers. Instead of being present with a lover, they are off in their heads playing some porn fantasy.

    I do not understand why millennial women put up with males who consume porn, or why they defend and justify porn. What will they tell their children? Oh, Daddy’s in the den shooting up his daily porn. Ugh.

    The normalization and acceptance of porn is a sign of a culture that is profoundly sick, twisted and ugly. I would urge women to avoid having anything to do with males who use porn. Up to a third of men do not watch porn, and if you are going to interact with males, choose from the non-porn-using group. No man who uses porn is capable of loving or respecting women — he sees them as objects to be used for his titillation and gratification.

    • Kelan Fox

      I liked your use of “shooting up” to refer to porn use. It’s an addiction, beyond unhealthy and so many men will go to great lengths to get their ‘fix’. Drugs lead to isolation, shame and many times violence and other anti-social behaviour. Why society enables this type of “shooting up”, when it also has many of the same dangerous consequences, is crazy to me.

    • Jeanne Deaux

      The problem is that men lie. Had one tell me he never looks at porn, then he accidentally sent me an image from his computer one day. Acted alllll confused. Yeah dude, okay. Whatever. And you can’t know who’s lying by looking at them. Not even by living with them. Sometimes for years. By then you’ve got kids and can’t make a clean break.

      I hate to say it because I feel people have a right to know their ancestry and, where possible, both their parents but I’m leaning more and more toward the utilization of sperm banks as a feminist act and the ultimate severing ourselves from male control and “authority”. Use sperm banks for any reproduction we do, bring back the matrilineal clan, and completely cut men loose. They can sit in their lonely, messy little apartments wanking off in the blue light from the monitor or the smartphone at 3am with no one to keep them company. It’s all they want to do anyway.

      • Hanakai

        This seems disingenuous. Most men do not hide their porn use, most justify it and say it is normal and that all men watch porn. Millennial men expect young women to be cool with porn and even watch it with them. Some surveys show that half of millennial women watch porn and most of these watch it with their boyfriends. I would say these millennial women are a big part of the problem, that their sexuality & minds are twisted and perverted and they too are wiling to degrade real women and chidren.

        All any woman has to do is ask if he wants to watch some porn with her; if he jumps at it, he is a pornhead.

        You are right that you cannot tell who is lying by looking at them. Humans lie all the time, which is why the best strategy is not to believe what people say and instead watch what they do. This is one reason it is important for women to get to know someone before getting into a sexual relationship with them. Listen to how they speak of women, see what kinds of attitudes they hold. If they use the b-word to refer to women, throw them out of your life and reality. A dude that you just found on Tinder is very likely a pornhead.

        Men who lie about porn use typically get caught: they slip up, or get walked in on, or their browser history tells the story. And too often, the women put up with it. A better policy for women would be zero tolerance for porn men in their lives. If he uses porn, get him out of your life. Unfortunately, too many women try to help their pornhead partner with his “problem,” which is useless — if he was a good decent man, he would not use porn in the first place.

        If a woman is paying attention, a man’s porn use is generally fairly obvious. Is he overly protective of his digital devices? Pornhead. Does he spend excessive amounts of time locked in bathroom or bedroom? Pornhead.

        Try two simple tests: when he’s on his computer alone in the room, walk in unexpectedly. Does he nervously react? Pornhead. Test two: ask him what he’s been up to today. Does he become irritable, evasive, or defensive? Pornhead.

        Women should simply have nothing to do with men who use porn. Pornhead men are not worthy of women. Too many women believe they need a man and so will put up with all sorts of crap? Why? The happiest women are those who are sovereign over their own lives and who do not have to answer to or put up with males.

    • Don Joe

      OK, you have good reasons to be angry at this, but that in itself is not going to help you formulate a solution. You need to realize that the excessively-stimulating materials online become as addictive as they do because they’re over-triggering otherwise healthy neurological mechanisms by which human adults are attracted to other human adults based on what their naked bodies look like. The men you’re talking about are victims in their own way, with Internet porn the equivalent of making crack cocaine available to everyone on tap. The root cause, as with so many other things, is capitalist consumerism and its marketing (brainwashing) machine.

      There’s accumulating research on this and professionals in psychology and psychiatry are increasingly recognizing Internet porn addiction as the pathology it is, starting with how it hijacks dopamine circuits in the same way as other more well-recognized addictions: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/research-articles-and-abstracts

  • Hanakai

    fxduffy writes: “but I’m just stating that it’s there and cannot be just brushed aside by an act of will on the part of a determined man.”

    My observation is that good and decent men see porn for the ugliness and exploitation it is and are not tempted by it. A decent good man will as an act of will refuse to use porn.

    The most difficult drug to quit is nicotine, followed by alcohol and heroin. Repeated porn use, which can act as an addictive drug, by delivering dopamine and endorphin hits to the brain, is much easier to quit than a drug which has physiological effects on the entire body. Lots of people have quit cigarettes, alcohol, heroin and other addictive substances. Any man who wants to quit porn can, it is the easiest of addictions to quit — seriously a man can simply masturbate using his imagination, as men did for millennia before Internet and film porn. Duh. And once a man reaches a level of consciousness in which he sees porn for the ugliness it is, he is no longer tempted by it.

    Unfortunately so many modern males have been ruined by the culture of male supremacy and misogyny and dog-eat-dog capitalism that they will never know love, they will never know true love, they will never know ecstatic sexuality shared with an equal loving partner.

    And someday maybe women will be evolved enough that they will no longer mate with, reproduce with or have anything to do with porn men.

  • BornACrone

    Another blow against the whole “they do it because they like it” bullshit:

    https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017/12/13/opinion/contributors/salma-hayek-harvey-weinstein.html?smid=tw-nytimes&smtyp=cur

    I wonder how many actresses who do sex scenes on screen do it while shaking, terrified, and vomiting off-camera because they have been told that if they don’t, they’ll see everything they ever tried to achieve destroyed?

    All so hipster asshole males and their butt-kissing girlfriends can point to the screen and say, “Why are you so threatened by an actress choosing to display her sexuality?”

    Some “choice.”

    • Jani

      Thanks for the link. I found reading the article very upsetting. Yes, I am also increasingly disturbed by this idea that women are “celebrating their sexuality” when it’s actually just putting on a show for male consumption. It throws all this “empowerment” crap into stark relief. The entertainment industry is run by middle-aged men who ultimately decide who gets the investment and how the women should be presented, or “marketed”, which typically means hypersexualised.
      Weinstein’s porny girl-on-girl demand was utterly sickening, in common with accounts of his rape and sexual assaults, they read just like porn scripts. If people are noticing how porn is ‘penetrating’ the mainstream then it’s obviously because the power lies with pornsick middle aged men who have no clue how to relate to women as human beings. 24 hour free porn could only have come into existence in a patriarchal culture. What a mess.

  • Wren

    I think women don’t vocalize their concerns about porn because men tell them to shut up and start pouting till it turns to whining and then become enraged, and women will do anything to avoid enraging men. Or men patronize the woman with accusations of being pro-censorship and anti-sex yada yada, and they find any way possible to make the woman regret saying anything at all. So now women understandably don’t say anything because they’ve been traumatized for MAKING A STATEMENT. So they try to find a way to live with porn, even if it takes extraordinary mental contortions. But once women have a chance to speak their mind in the comfort of like-minded women, the truth comes out. (Of course, if they’re a sex-pozzie women they’re just doing a man’s job for them).

    • Rich Garcia

      There are women who are also silent on the matter of pornography because some of them are okay with the all-important males in their lives watching the choreographed degradation of women. I’ve known women personally and have come across others in passing who refer to each other in the same pornographic manner as males do.

      “Bitch”, “w(ho)re”, “slut”, “p-ssy”, “c-nt” “getting them yams” (referring to a woman’s buttocks), and any other manner of vulgar, misogynistic language. It’s more to do with jealousy among female peers and a desire to relate to males by talking and acting male (i.e., being a “tomboy”, “one of the guys”, or any other rite of male passage where you’re the token female). Especially when you come from a culture that is both liberal and traditionalistic in regards to sex and gender.

      • Wren

        Yeah, but I would say that this behavior is still internalized oppression, and is therefore a coping mechanism to deal with a life (since girlhood) where a woman has been saturated with pornographic expectations and images. Unless she becomes a pornographer herself, she really doesn’t gain any legitimate power by acting like the women you describe.

        • BornACrone

          She gains some power over other women, though. It’s what Andrea Dworkin called, “Take her, not me.” She may be in the shit of sexism up to her neck, but at least she gets to see that other bitch over there in it up to her bottom lip. To a lot of women, that’s the only “satisfaction” they can imagine exists for themselves.

        • Jeanne Deaux

          Even then she’ll never be as powerful as a male pornographer.

  • Wren

    I was a director of a youth program for many years, and some high-school girls (maybe ninth or tenth grade) told me one day how they had a teacher-sanctioned debate about pornography that day. It was not presented as an ethical issue as much as an intellectual exercise regarding personal preferences. I was just horrified.

  • BornACrone

    This is an excellent point. I can’t make unhealthy, addictive junk food go away by an act of will, but damned if that means I’m going to eat it.

    • foamreality

      I’m not so sure. What about other addictions: facebook, iphones, exotic fruit, nice shoes? How many feminists give those exploitative addictions up? Sexuality , one trained/reinforced through porn might just be harder to give up. Not that men shouldn’t use all their will to reject it and discover better sides of their sexuality, like any addiction, but we all have to recognize making choices in a capitalist society is not easy. As painful as that is to acknowledge. Yet still its worth every possible effort to encourage men (and women) to stop not just porn use, but all unnecessary consumption that abuses (particularly poor) women.

  • Amy

    I could fill hundreds of pages of stuff people said to me while I was still a minor that I wasn’t allowed to call out as sexist (and if I did, I was the “bitch”,”prude” etc). Of course it didn’t stop after I turned 18, but at least for me, it’s less traumatic as I age.

  • Amy

    You’re right on, it’s like women can’t even say they don’t like being in physical pain anymore. We’re supposed to be silent to allow women to ‘do what they want’ But I don’t believe women actually like pain (unless they have a mental illness). There used to be vibrators just for vaginal insertion. Now most I’ve seen have anal probes, plugs, whatever, in addition. Even when we masterbate we have to like anal now??? Or we’re not normal? Wtf!!! That’s when I knew this “pain for women is pleasure” shit had gone too far. Every women (IRL) ive talked to that has done anal didn’t do it because it was fun for them. It was just to appease their man who would hassle them about it. Now girls are being told we’re supposed to like it so much that we do it solo? That’s such bullshit.Even the rare cases where women do like the pain, I suggest they look into their life to see how they became so masochistic, because that’s not healthy, no matter what ppl tell you.

    • susannunes

      These women do it because they are afraid of losing “their” men and winding up being alone. After all, the worst possible thing a woman can be is alone and “unloved.” Women and men have been raised with so much screwed-up nonsense. Women who continue to appease their husbands or boyfriends are condoning this destructive, perverted behavior. These men need to be dumped. There are far worse things than being alone and even being poor.

      • Amy

        Every female on the planet should hear your last sentence sister!

  • Jani

    Yep. Props to Rachel. She doesn’t take any shit.

  • Omzig Online

    Judging by his commenting history, he seems to spend a lot of time trying to convince the Internet that women in Thailand LOVE being relegated to a life of poverty and prostitution. “It’s just a part of their culture! You wouldn’t understand.” he says.

    Oh, I understand, John. Droves of privileged Western men move to Asian countries to live as ex-pats, where women are subservient, and child trafficking and prostitution is tolerated. Then they convince themselves that these women love their own oppression, and that they are doing these women and children a huge favor by exploiting them.

    John is a lecherous, arrogant, repulsive fuckwad.

  • Jani

    Fucking pornsick idiots. They can’t tell the difference between fake garbage and reality. Yeah, I would agree we’re all fucked because these idiots have a vote. Apart from being toxic to human relationships and making the world less safe for women, porn consumers are so easily brainwashed and manipulated. The dystopian world is here and now.

  • Audrey Black

    He’s right about the mixed messages. Every person receives them and they go beyond male sexuality. For example, the messages women receive about behavior: be more assertive, but don’t be a bitch (i.e. don’t be assertive); show interest and make a move, but don’t come off desperate (i.e. don’t make a move); don’t hide your intelligence, but don’t tell people they’re wrong (i.e. hide your intelligence).

    Where do you draw the line between being affected by these messages and society at large (which we all are or at least were at some point in our lives) and taking matters into your own hands when some people are obviously more self-aware and have more self-control than others? I know where to draw this line for myself, but not everyone is me.

    • Audrey Black

      So I thought about this question more, and I guess since there’s no “hard” line, we just have to urge people to do better.

      Just because some people have built bigger ‘walls’ that prevent them from taking a long, hard look at themselves and changing their behavior, doesn’t mean they’re literally incapable. And promoting the idea that there’s a better way would serve to counteract that.

      This is the way forward. And sometimes, it gets worse before it gets better. So I’m in support of what Hanakai said above.

  • Omzig Online

    The words ‘pedophile’ and ‘asshole’ are not mutually exclusive, John. You seem to be both.

    But poor, poor John Kane! Was the mean ol’ feminist challenging your male privilege again, John? What an angry zealot, right? Those “extremist” women that oppose human trafficking are just so MEAN, aren’t they?

    But seriously, John, I directed a number of overt accusations at you, and instead of denying my claims, you rebuttaled by weakly declaring that I’m a zealot. So be it. But it seems that every single statement that I made was accurate, and you have only confirmed them, and then doubled down on all of your false claims. You are a cliche, John, and your argument points are as predictable as they come. Deny, dismiss, minimize, and, when all else fails, call them angry, hysterical zealots. (Oops! My mistake. You called my ideas hysterical, right? Now THERE’S a worthwhile distinction!)

    The truth is that part of me feels very sorry for you. You are an elderly man, and your broken male ego views the human connection as transactional, and companionship as something to be monetized. I’m not angry, but very sad. It is sad that you have to pay women (“confidants”) to simply sit and eat lunch with you. I’ve never had to pay someone to pretend to like me, or to sit and eat with me, and I imagine that it must be very lonely. But your loneliness and lack of sex appeal does not trump a woman or a child’s human right to live free of your abuse and exploitation.

    When you claim to be a member of academia, you remind me very much of Dr. John Davies, who trafficked a woman from southern India and stole her identity. He then used his academic credentials, along with the woman’s stolen identity, to validate his crimes within academic circles. John Davies now sits in a prison cell. Many, many professionals in academia, however, are still citing his work, apparently unaware that they are citing the work of a convicted fraud and a human trafficker. In other words, we’ve seen this shit before. Men use their prestigious positions to launder their abuse and justify exploiting another human being. This is nothing new.

    But you know what would make your research really innovative and groundbreaking, John? If you rented out your own body cavities in exchange for money! You know, to gain personal insight into the experiences of your prostituted “confidants.” You would simply allow a man, for a modest sum of money, to pummel your mouth and your flaccid, 70-year-old rectum until he was satisfied. Who knows, maybe you should even let him do a little ass-to-mouth. Just think of it as a kind of method acting, but with a lot more Bengay cream at the end. What do you say, John? Do it for Science!

  • Wren

    Many European countries have adopted the Nordic Model, which is when prostitutes are decriminalized but johns like you burn in hell. So go on and do that.

  • Omzig Online

    A fuckwad is very similar to a cocksplat, but a little less splooshy. It is distantly related to its smellier cousin, the shitgibbon, though the shitgibbon’s etymology is largely unknown. Many scholars have posited that both the fuckwad and the cocksplat share a direct lineage with the cockwomble, though these findings have been refuted by those of us, including myself, who believe that their common ancestor is probably the fucknugget. Hope that clears things up.

  • Missy

    “my daughter was raped at the U. of Missouri and she expects and gets
    little piety for two reasons. 1) she was known to be adventurous in her
    sex life, and 2) she is always quick to explain that she was to drunk
    to do anything about it, even to close her window.”

    No, just fucking no! I doubt you have a daughter and just pulled this crap right out of your ass, but if you actually do, I feel so bad for her to have a piece of trash father like you. Get out of here with your rape apologist, victim blaming BS already! Stupid asshole, all you’re doing is providing more proof to back up the many posts here about men with your sick, perverse, sadistic mentality.

    And whether you like it or not, a 15-17 year old is still a child! No matter how adult she looks or her circumstances are, she will still possess a child’s mental capacity and any grown ass man taking advantage of her vulnerable situation is a fucking pedophile shit stain that needs to be put down. If you think that’s extreme, that’s because you’re deluded and your posts only prove how disgusting and how horribly anti-woman/girl you are.

  • Danny

    “Am I a pedophile or am I am [sic] asshole?”

    You are revolting. You are a waste of atoms.

    That’s all I have left to say to you.

  • hellkell

    You are an asshole, a pedophile, and a pig. I feel sorry for your daughter, if she actually exists.

  • hellkell

    You’re not entertaining.

  • Omzig Online

    You’ve mentioned that the ATF doesn’t “want” to track alcohol-related sexual violence. You may wish to note that it is the CDC that tracks and collects data regarding rape and abuse, including alcohol-related abuse. Since these are both government agencies, it would be fiscally irresponsible for them both to track the same data. So the CDC collects data regarding sexual violence, and shares it with the ATF, saving us tax dollars.

    https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/nisvs/index.html

  • Missy

    Thank you for your kind words, they mean so much to me. I’m honored to know that my posts have resonated with you.

    I completely agree, our sisters here are absolutely amazing, and I’m grateful to Feminist Current for encouraging us to express our innermost thoughts as well as allowing much needed venting against misogynistic men and their patriarchy. It’s incredible how much the burden is lessened when we can discuss what we experience, both personally and collectively, from living as women in a world run by male supremacy.

    Fortunately this year is almost over. Here’s to hoping 2018 will bring change for the better.

    • Meghan Murphy

      xoxoxoxoxox

  • Second Waver

    Porn is violence against women, it is an inherently oppressive and exploitative system that thrives on the torture of women. ‘Choice’/ ‘consent’ to these systems is NOT empowerment. Get the fuck over it.

  • marv

    The VAST majority of rapes aren’t reported because of the hurdles of the male legal system, the shame women feel and the “latest figures” of manshit statistics.