I’m coming out… In support of women

Sex, in terms of sexual orientation, matters, and it’s time for men to speak up about homophobic, anti-woman trans activism.


I’ve resisted writing this a long time. Hell, I pitched this article to Meghan Murphy over a month ago and have started and stopped writing half-a-dozen times because I couldn’t figure out how to say what I want to say without hurting a lot of feelings. The truth is, though, that I simply can’t say what I want to say without hurting feelings. And in the end, that’s okay. Because, while it shouldn’t be controversial in leftist — and certainly feminist — circles, what I’m about to say is indeed controversial. And women are brave enough to say this every day; so me — with my male privilege — ought to, well, man up.

Gender is a social construct. Its purpose, under patriarchy, is to oppress women, in order to control their reproductive capacity, and to reinforce men’s position as the dominant sex class. Gender is, to be blunt, bullshit.

The first transwoman I met was a 68-year-old named Leanne. Leanne was married to a woman, had fathered several kids (and even had grandkids), and was a decorated veteran of the US military (at a time when women were denied most roles in the armed forces). Leanne transitioned late in life, wore simple skirts and blouses (“befitting a woman of my age”), and identified as a woman.

It was 2004. I was 18. And I thought Leanne was fabulous. I also thought Leanne was male. Crucially, so did Leanne.

Ten years ago, none of this was controversial in ostensibly “feminist” or LGBT circles. It was accepted that physiological sex and socially constructed gender were not the same thing. But over the past 10 years, the doctrine of “gender identity” has gained traction.

In some ways, I sympathize with trans activists who embrace a “born this way” belief with regard to “gender identity.” It makes sense to me that they would feel so. After all, gender is such a pernicious part of our world that it often goes unnoticed by anyone who doesn’t have a solid grounding in feminist theory or sociology. We take for granted that women like pink (which wasn’t associated with women until the 20th century) or that men don’t wear high heels (which they used to in the West — look at portraits of Charles II). We assume these things are innate, and in a world that polices gender as rigidly as ours, it’s easy to see why.

That’s why, for a long time, I was able to square this circle. “Of course a male can be a woman,” I said, “because ‘woman’ is a social construct.” This made sense to me. Transwomen are sometimes read as women and typically present as women. Just because they didn’t technically have female bodies, I reasoned, didn’t mean they weren’t subjected to the same misogyny and sexism women face every day, regardless of any biological or physiological differences. I applied the same logic to transwomen as I applied to, say, women who have had hysterectomies.

Of course, this is a pedestrian argument. It ignores the years of socialization we all receive. Transwomen are still socialized as male, and transmen are still socialised as women, no matter how they may choose to “identify” later in life. My initial analysis didn’t grapple with those facts. That’s a recent revelation, and if the narrative really ended at “transwomen are women and transmen are men,” I wouldn’t be writing this piece.

But something has happened over the past few years that has drastically changed my perspective. Lately, some trans activists, such as Avery Edison — a comedian and trans-identified male — have been trying to convince us that “gender identity” trumps sex. “Genitals aren’t very important [in sexual relationships],” Edison tweeted last month. “If you’re currently in love with someone, ask yourself, ‘would I stop loving them if they suddenly had different genitals.’ I hope the answer is ‘no.’ If it isn’t, your love is apparently extremely conditional!”

Leaving aside the fact that all sexual and romantic love is “extremely conditional” (after all, we don’t just fall in love with anyone we meet) when it comes to sexual attraction — emphasis on sex… Sex, in terms of sexual orientation, doesn’t just refer to doing the dirty — it means sex as a reproductive category.

I am a gay man, which means I am attracted to other men, meaning adult human males. This precludes women and females who identify as men.

And you know what? That’s okay. I’ve fought since I was 15-years-old — when I first came out — to live this truth. My existence as a gay man matters. Lesbians’ existence matters. And this notion that we can overcome “genital preferences” is homophobic and erases our identities, as homosexual people. It doesn’t just echo the far-right conversion therapies so many of us have fought decades to end, it actively embraces these beliefs, as it implies we could become heterosexual if we just opened our minds and overcame our “preferences” for members of the same sex.

The only way the argument that sex doesn’t matter makes any sense is if you think you can change sex but that gender identity — something intangible, and entirely in one’s head — is an immutable trait. But sex cannot be changed. It is a physical reality. Humans are a sexually dimorphic species, and there’s no getting around that.

Edison is far from the first person to put forth this argument. The “cotton ceiling” — a term full of rapey connotations, coined by Drew DeVeaux, a Canadian pornographic performer and transgender activist — offers up a similar analysis. The “cotton ceiling” (to allude to women’s underwear) refers to the idea that lesbians’ attraction exclusively to females is something to be overcome, and that, because lesbians are not attracted to males, somehow their sexuality is oppressive as it “excludes” transwomen and transmen, respectively.

Since then, the notion that this form of “exclusion” is bigoted or “hateful” has become accepted within the trans activist movement, (though it has been and continues to be subjected to critique and opposition by lesbians and feminists in particular). From Cathy Brennan to Meghan Murphy to Claire Heuchan to Julie Bindel to Magdalen Berns, women have been speaking out about the consequences of “gender identity” on women, their hard-won rights, and discourse more broadly  for years, often at great detriment to their own wellbeing and careers. Men, on the other hand, have largely been silent.

But there is good reason to speak out, despite the consequences. If you portend to support feminism, you ought to care about women. Gender identity legislation is being pushed through very quickly, around the globe, without much — if any — debate or consideration of the consequences. Lesbians are being bullied and pushed out of the Dyke March. Women in shelters* are being forced to room with male-bodied people, and told they are in violation of the law when they protest. Rape crisis centres are being pressured to let males have access to their facilities and services. It’s perfectly understandable that a woman wouldn’t want someone with a penis sharing a bed next to her after she’s been raped. This should not be a controversial statement. A decade ago it wasn’t — not even in the transgender community. Yet somehow, defending women’s spaces and rights is now said to “dehumanize” transwomen or even constitute “violence” against them.

No feminist believes that transwomen should be attacked or injured. No feminist believes they should be sacked for being trans or be refused housing or health care. What feminists believe is that women — adult human females — have a right to sex-segregated spaces as sanctuaries against male violence, and that women should have particular rights as a result of having been born female under patriarchy. What feminists believe is that gender is an oppressive social construct used to subjugate the female sex class. None of this should be controversial, but it is.

Which is why it’s time men — especially men who support a radical feminist analysis of gender — speak up. I’ve been afraid to express my views for years now. Afraid of upsetting friends, of pissing off powerful media types who follow and commission me, afraid of the inevitable backlash I know is coming my way. But cowardice is no excuse. Women have been doing this for years — being no-platformed and losing their livelihoods because they dare speak up for themselves. But they can’t be left to do this alone any longer.

Boys, it’s time we get some skin in this game too.

Skylar Baker-Jordan is a freelance writer living on the coast of North Carolina. His work has appeared at the Independent, HuffPost UK, INTO, the Daily Dot, and elsewhere. Follow him on Twitter @skylarjordan.

*Editor’s note, 08/24/2018: Previously this read “rape crisis centres,” but the centre referenced is not, in fact, a rape crisis centre, but an addiction recovery facility for women.

Guest Writer
Guest Writer

One of Feminist Current's amazing guest writers.

Like this article? Tip Feminist Current!

$
Personal Info

Donation Total: $1

  • Melissa

    Thank you, Skylar Baker-Jordan!!!

  • Meghan Murphy

    Women do need particular rights, though, under patriarchy, particularly related to things like reproduction, for example.

    • Christian

      Oops, my mistake, Articles 3 and 30 of the human rights can easily be misinterpreted to limit a woman’s right to choose.
      After reading some of the linked articles, i also see that the rights to female only spaces are also under attack.
      I just mistakenly assumed common sense.

  • unfashionable

    In patriarchy, “human” is synonymous with “male”. So a just society requires that human rights be redefined with particularity to include women.

  • Jeff_White

    “Some people ask: ‘Why the word feminist? Why not just say you are a believer in human rights, or something like that?’

    “Because that would be dishonest. Feminism is, of course, part of human rights in general — but to choose to use the vague expression human rights is to deny the specific and particular problem of gender [sex]. It would be a way of pretending that it was not women who have, for centuries, been excluded. It would be a way of denying that the problem of gender targets women.”

    ― Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, “We Should All Be Feminists”

  • Deb Thompson

    Righto , Now down to the front lines Skylar and start walking the talk .. Start saying the same to any man in conversation in a gathering of 2 or more males. Lets see more articles on the subject to other media outlets you write for , even photographic evidence would never go astray, If you’ll forgive my sceptical stance too many males don’t walk the talk … Where were you at any dyke marches Protesting? This year … you don’t mention what you have done , But there’s alot YOU in the article ,about what and who you are , there’s alot chit chat about YOU , you talk about man up, lol implying that means your stronger if you do …
    Oh Brother ,man up is problematic as it’s not about strength, is it ? let me know if you actually can see what it is actually about , ’cause right now i don’t believe you do. Tell us what feminist literature have you read in the last decade, if you have read any at all.. Words are cheap from males in my experience regarding this insidious mind fuck coming from the despicable tra’s & so called trans… Your Afraid , Jesus with your male privilege what do you THINK it’s like for us , You have NO CLUE at all I believe going on how you have written your article . I don’t believe in trans as a word or as a human condition, it’s another patriarchal ruse, a ploy to render women subordinate ,and oppressed and indeed erase us as a formidable class..Thanks for the article , Actions , Not words will be the convincing decided opinion of you from my perspective..
    Good Luck.

    • Skylar Baker-Jordan

      This is an entirely fair point. As for the feminists who have influenced me, I would say Kilbourn, hooks, Crenshaw, Brennan, Dworkin, and Millett are big influences.

      But I think that matters less than the demand for action, which is important. I’ve declared myself. Now I need to put my money where my mouth is. I accept the challenge. I hope I can live up to it.

  • JingFei

    I follow you on Twitter Skylar- and I confess, I saw your breaking point. Your “Peak Trans” moment so to speak.
    I can’t thank you enough for speaking out like this. We need allies. We need a collective that stands up against the authoritarianism of the Gender cult. I don’t even usually like using the word “cult”, but I have no idea how else to describe what’s going on. Women in real life are being hurt. Lesbians ar ebeing bullied out of our spaces, off of our dating apps- told we are no longer welcome at our own marches and events. We are being colonized, but we are such a minority, and have so little power in the “LGBTQ” empire, that no one cares.

    Anyways, this was a terrific article. I have read it out loud to my fiance and sent it to a few friends. You have basically seen something is rotton in Trans activism- and I hope you do not suffer many consequences for this. No matter what anyone says- you can rest assured that you stood up for what you know is right. We have all been there. At the same time, being male might save you from months of harassment. They seem to leave men alone.
    What a surprise, eh?

  • Signme Uplease

    Let’s hope it’s not too little, too late for men to be jumping on this feminist bandwagon. We could have used your voice a lot sooner, but appreciate it nonetheless.

  • Robert Gonzalez

    I think you claiming to be a radical feminist is problematic. It might be best to consider yourself a feminist ally. But if you really believe in radical feminism, then I’m certainly glad that you’re here.

  • Cassandra

    I’m not sure you understand radical feminism (real feminism) at all. Women do need particular rights. It has nothing to do with “equality” — that’s the hijacking of feminism. Feminism is the fight for liberation from patriarchal oppression, not “equality.”

  • Cassandra

    Thanks for speaking up, Skylar.

  • mail_turtle

    Still many scientists are supporting the idea that millions of years of evolution may have programmed more (what is commonly considered to be) masculine or feminine behaviour into our genes. Are they stupid? Or afraid to loose their jobs?

    • Meghan Murphy

      Of course behaviours are connected to evolution. But it is not necessary for social roles to be connected to dominance or subordination. Gender roles, across the world and throughout history, have not always placed women into the subordinate class, and men in the dominant class. Nor are traits like “likes to wear high heels” or “is irrational” aspects of female evolution.

    • marv

      Evolution doesn’t work in a biological vacuum. The programming is also socially guided by the power imbalances that form through manipulation – social determinants of biology. I know you are not anti-capitalist but do you honestly think it is a product of natural unfolding (or men’s monarchies, feudalism, slavery and war)? If not, then why is gender so different? If they are genetic we still have the aptitude to overtake them.

  • Jen Miller

    Good article 🙂

  • Meghan Murphy

    You’re partly right. It’s not about ‘equality’ it’s about ending patriarchy/male dominance. Cassandra understands what radical feminism is, trust…

  • Meghan Murphy

    “TERF” is not a real thing. It’s a means to misrepresent and smear actual feminist analysis as hateful.

  • ew6

    Hi! On twitter we discussed how the section claiming to be about a rape crisis center cites a case that actually occurred in an addiction recovery center, which is really very different. You apologized and took accountability, but haven’t changed it here yet. Could you? Pretty important. It matters because people need to read about rape crisis centers and understand they won’t be forced— or able— to sleep there. It matters to help rape victims get assistance. Also, a journalistic thing?

    • Meghan Murphy

      He is talking about both. The situation in the shelter and the situation that could occur in rape crisis centers now that we are pretending sex isn’t real and men can be women.

    • JingFei

      I was literally told by an NDP brocialist on Twitter that I was a transphobic bigot because as a rape victim, I thought women should be entitled to female counsellors.
      Trans activists are doing their damndest to eliminate all female only shelters in Canada. Women are being kicked out of them for taking issue with having sleep next to biological males.

      Women have been raped in Toronto in a shelter by a man claiming to be Trans. So we are one pronoun away from this happening in rape shelters.

      Especially if that lunatic Morgane Oger gets his way.

  • masteryoda

    With regards to the the whole thing about scientists being racist…they were operating in a society where they wanted to reach that conclusion. We still find differences based on evolutionary biology but that doesn’t make one rwace better than the other or vice versa. The people that do these studies nowadays are reaching these conclusions based on good science. The same scientific method that has helped mankind progress through the ages. Biology is a hard science. We can run tests and get the same result a million times. Sociology is far more subject to sibjectivs opinions and you can see that in universities where sociology departments have little to no debate about the research they catry out .

  • masteryoda

    Why SHOULD people care? It’s messed up to enforce that people should do what you want. I know men aren’t the most vocal about these topics bit iits also because we’re told to not add out opinions into the discussions. Men can’t understand a women point of view immediately due to our own life experiences. Likewise women don’t indeunders what it’s like to be a man. Yet when those topics are brought up men are silenced from participating in the discussion UNLESS they just agree with everything. I used to be a guy like that but eventually realised there is more nuance to the situation. Even women have varying views on these topics but if they don’t agree with the forgone conclusion their viewpoints are ignored as well. And with social media (where it’s statiscally clear women are more acriva) it exxagerates their role -just because men don’t tweet about the latest protest doesn’t mean they don’t care. All I’m saying is, there’s a variety of opinions and asking for everyone to support your cause it’s literally a authoritarian way of thinking

    • radwonka

      Listen mate, this topic concerns everbody. Everyone should think critically about any ideology that claims to be scientific and universal. For obvious reasons.
      Secondly, Asking for support is not authoritarian. Key word: ASKING.

      Authoritarianism relies on coercion and control and most importantly doesnt “ask”.

      Your comment was the most boring attempt to demonize feminists Ive read today.

      So stop being so f*cking dramatic.

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DksSPZTZES0

  • Meghan Murphy

    bell

  • Meghan Murphy

    I think in general, throughout history and across various cultures, there have been specific roles for men and women. I don’t really have a problem with that. The problem is when those roles are assigned value based on sex, as in, for example, making ‘men’s work’ valuable and ‘women’s work’ not valuable or respected… I’d like, ideally, there to be flexibility in terms of roles, but for example, men hunting big game and women hunting smaller game or gathering plants or whatever doesn’t bother me at all. Both of those things are needed and valuable and in general men are bigger and stronger than women, so….

    • marv

      As a former hunter I see the need to hunt in societies relying on nonhuman animals for survival. Calling them ‘game’ though is a euphemism that hides there value as sentient beings with individuality. Necessary killing of them by human animals is one thing, skirting the objectification of taking their lives is another.

  • Meghan Murphy

    We use it jokingly, sometimes. The truth, though, is that we’re talking about excluding males and challenging transgender ideology. It’s not about ‘excluding’ trans identified people. i.e. it’s just not accurate or even a necessary term.

  • Meghan Murphy

    Use your words. Explain what it is you are opposed to and why. “Opposed to TERF” means nothing.

  • Meghan Murphy

    If you want? You’re not a radical feminist though, that’s for sure…

  • Meghan Murphy

    We would never say such a thing… Which goes to show how familiar you are with radical feminist analysis/ideology….

  • Meghan Murphy

    Feminism is for women…

    • Christian

      then please delete all my comments and posts
      I’m a man and i’m a feminist.
      I’ll just stop arguing against anti-feminists since i now see that Radfems are exactly what they say you are.

      Women’s liberation movement, Women’s rights movements, but not feminists.

  • Maria Gatti

    It was excellent. Transpeople are subjected to horrific abuse – from men. That does not make male to female transpeople women. I think there should be specific shelters and associations devoted to supporting such people, but no, I do not think trans people with male genitalia or secondary sexual characteristics should have to be accepted in women’s shelters and certainly not in crisis centres for female victims of sexual assault. It was a very strange transition.

  • OaringAbout

    Good question, the question of the hour as a matter of fact. 🙂 But you might take a look at my earlier comment – held in moderation so long I posted a shorter version (above) 😉 – wherein I stated, in part:

    [quote]

    And relative to those genetically based attributes, you might check out chapter 18 in Stephen Pinker’s Blank Slate on Gender; a relevant quote or two:

    But of course the minds of men and women are not identical, and recent reviews of sex differences have converged on some reliable differences. Sometimes the differences are large, with only slight overlap in the bell curves. Men [typically] have a much stronger taste for no-strings sex with multiple or anonymous partners, as we see in the almost all-male consumer base for prostitution and visual pornography, Men [typically] are far more likely to compete violently, sometimes lethally, with one another over stakes great and small ….

    Though men, on average, are better at mentally rotating objects and maps, women [typically] are better at remembering landmarks and the positions of objects. Men are better throwers; women are more dexterous. Men are better at solving mathematical word problems, women at mathematical calculation. Women [typically] are more sensitive to sounds and smells, have better depth perception, match shapes faster, and are much better at reading facial expressions and body language. Women are better spellers, retrieve words more fluently, and have a better memory for verbal material.

    [endquote]

    Pinker elaborates on that theme quite extensively in that book of his – highly recommended, but my argument, as indicated in that previous comment, is that there are a great many physiological and psychological attributes that are more common in one sex than in another. And that they are largely if not entirely based on our different genetic “inheritances”, that those differences are part and parcel of a “gender spectrum”, and that they are anything but a “socially construction”.

  • Meghan Murphy

    I don’t think that’s true… Cultures exist wherein men’s attractiveness is measured by women in a way that gives women more power than men, in that regard… I don’t think that if we lived in a matriarchal or matrilineal society, women would be valued primarily based on ‘attractiveness’…

  • Meghan Murphy

    You mean like when a vampire is invited in by someone who doesn’t realize the vampire is a vampire?

  • SkyLark Phillips

    There are logical reasons why people view “transitioning” as a form of gay and lesbian eugenics. Historically, we know it has happened. This has been going on Iran for years where gay men and lesbians are coerced into hormones and sex reassignment surgery. Homosexuality in Iran is punishable by death, but the government will help pay for sex reassignment surgery. What does this tell us? In extremely homophobic countries, the only way for homosexuals to exist is to “transition” to the opposite sex. I don’t have the link right now, but under apartheid South Africa, homosexuals underwent forced sex reassignment surgery. If a young male is attracted to males, and he becomes a “woman”, puts on a dress, etc. to the outside world the couple looks heterosexual. They can say they are straight, and they can pass as straight. The same applies to females. If a young lesbian “transitions”, she drops the lesbian identity immediately. She takes on the outward appearance of a man. If she partners with a female, they can walk around saying that they are heterosexual. Technically, it’s still a female and female relationship, but to the homophobes and general public, they pass as a straight couple.

  • Meghan Murphy

    I don’t think I really understand what you’re asking… Yes, sexual/physical attraction exists and will probably always exist. The way that plays out, though, doesn’t necessarily have to be sexist, rooted in a huge power differential, or objectifying.

  • Sharpie

    I don’t know, I tried to find the right term but the word we use in my country doesn’t translate well in English so sorry for the imprecision.

    “very few people society calls scientists or intellectuals are actually scientists or intellectuals” I agree with this, especially regarding intellectuals.

    “Both require transcending societal norms and looking at life, ideology, human behavior, with a critical and discerning eye, not falling prey to prejudice, age-old biases, religious dogma, etc.” Yep. Let me tell you, I’m baffled by the amount of bias I see in books, media etc. that are supposed to be neutral. I was taught by my teachers to not let personal bias cloud my work but I see that most people sadly never got a lesson on this.

    • Tobysgirl

      What we call intellectuals in the U.S. is extremely funny. Basically you’re an intellectual if you are promulgating propaganda for capitalism and doing it in the pages of the New York Times. You are so right about bias in media, publications, books, etc. Watch closely and see how so-called science programming is often filled with religious thought. They do not even have the good grace on Nova, a public television station science show, to stop using B.C. and A.D. (one has the choice of Current Era and Before Current Era or Before Present [C.E., B.C.E., and B.P.], let alone the notion that human beings are created in the image of god (what god?) and are the apex of creation.

  • acommentator

    “I can easily accept that homophobic parents would believe their girly boy is actually a girl, or that their boyish girl is actually a boy.”

    Just about no one actually believes that men can be women and vice versa. I don’t think even most trans people believe it.

    And if a person is distressed that their son or daughter is gay, you think they would feel better about it if after the kid has been surgically maimed and walks around looking like some fun house mirror version of the opposite sex? That makes no sense to me. If someone finds it distressing that their child is gay, finding that they are trans has got to be worse.

    • Tobysgirl

      Fun house mirror version? I was emailing a transsexual who sent me his photos after he started using hormones, and he was no fun house mirror version. You would never have known he was male. Julian Vigo told me that every TIM she knew had been raised in homophobic homes and/or dressed up as girls when they were children. The young man I was emailing had both experiences and despised his body. I never got to ask him why he had a boyfriend if he despised male bodies.
      The fun house mirror version applies to middle-aged men who want to pretend they are female because they have a fetish. Young transsexuals can often pass extremely well if they were fairly feminine-looking to begin with.

    • Zoë Lafantaisie

      You’d think so but it doesn’t seem to be the case. Also, transing children is a great way to get extra-special attention. People think there’s a heavenly father, of the male sex, who grants wishes – why would they not believe you can be born in the wrong body? Besides the fact that there’s a huge billionaire-backed campaign, working through LGBTQWTF organizations to propagandize everyone and scare the “non-believers” into silence. People don’t have to believe something to parrot it as truth, especially when there’s a threat of censure and rejection. Propaganda works acommentator! That’s what we’re seeing.

  • Omzig Online

    Right. I just don’t know why they think it’s a compelling argument.

    Telling women “I’ve been violating your boundaries for YEARS and you never noticed! Ha, ha, ha!” is such a creepy, transgressive thing to admit. It pretty much proves exactly why they are not worthy of women’s trust, or anyone’s trust for that matter.

  • FierceMild

    “With the physical differences between the sexes become less important”

    So men can gestate now?

  • Meghan Murphy

    Maybe you can explain what you mean by ‘gender’?

  • masteryoda

    Do you really think people who don’t follow your viewpoint dont “have a coherent ethical center” or that they don’t beleibe “their value system be based on thoughtful consideration of facts”?

    Everyone believes that! Heck the religious people who are completely against trans people would argue we don’t have a “coherent ethical center”!

    People don’t believe the things they put out to just be mean or hateful. To them, based on the facts that they know, what they believe makes complete sense.

    Are people in this comment section unable to think objectively?

  • unfashionable

    SkyLark Phillips “No female has ever killed a trans woman.”
    Yet. Could happen. And even such a homicide would not logically undermine your well documented argument here.

  • Tobysgirl

    Where are you living? A homophobic parent will easily believe that their son is actually female trapped in the wrong body, and “progressives” are buying into this wholesale.

  • Tobysgirl

    Where are these progressives you keep referring to? All the progressives — whatever the hell that word means — I come into contact with fully accept transgenderism and the notion that someone has been born into the “wrong” body which can now be drugged and cut up to be the ‘right” body.

  • Tobysgirl

    Do your female dogs and cats act feminine? If not, trans them! Toby was my proud-cut gelding (proud-cut means some testicle was left when he was gelded). I guess when he thought it was a hoot to snap my bra he was just acting like the masculine stud he knew himself to be!

  • Tobysgirl

    Exactly! Maybe if you’re really dumb you need to see men swagger and threaten and bully (there’s gender for you!) in order to realize they are men. However, if your senses are functioning you can usually tell it’s a man even if he’s wearing an apron and doing the ironing.

  • Zoë Lafantaisie

    Have you not heard thousands upon thousands of trans activists and their transmaidens chanting “Trans women are women? They actually believe they are literally women and while their supporters may not believe it, they act as if they do. The TRAs believe they are actually and literally the opposite sex – kids apparently telling their parents “I’m a girl” – ye olde “born in the wrong body” trick. Laws are being made on the basis that people think trans folk are literally the opposite sex. So I don’t understand your shock and disbelief – every day there are people being violent towards radfems and other gender-critical commentators because we deny that they are anything but what their biology at birth is. So there’s acceptance of the mass delusion that you can change your sex and of course the parents are thrilled when their child can be seen as the opposite sex rather than a homosexual. People believe whatever they want to – have you not noticed that?

  • radwonka

    I think you should learn more about culture and socialization.

    Also, Debates are better with scientific examples and resources.

  • Deb Thompson

    Your mind was changed , and you will continue to live your happy life , that’s great if you are sincere, why do I sense sarcasm,Hmmm/ The fear of monsters wasn’t actually brought up , all the women/females on here are adults, and there are many lived experiences of violence and rape, by criminal males revolting and cunning deceitful males you know the kind I’m sure and You mocking these Real lives experiences is a direct reflection on what and who you are run along now .Hopefully the the Pavement rises too quickly that it is a surprise … When you direct that drivel to yourself , as opposed to any other on here that you have already replied to, Sincerity isn’t your strong point

  • Omzig Online

    I honestly think most people don’t consider themselves to be homophobic, even staunch conservatives. Many people, including liberals, are supportive of LGB folks in general, but are mortified to find out that their kid is gay.

    In the documentary “Transgender Kids: Who Knows Best” there was a couple that discussed their trans-identified child in an interview. At one point, the father discussed his disappointment when he realized his son “ran like a girl.” He was pretty clearly embarrassed of his effeminate boy. Then the dad described how he became a proud, doting father after their child transitioned, and the boy’s dainty mannerisms were no longer a source of embarrassment.

    As long as the little boy pretended to be a girl, he would be his father’s pride and joy. But if he de-transitioned to live as a sweet-natured, effeminate young man, he would be an embarrassment to the family.

    It’s hard for me to believe, too, but I think people really are that homophobic. Too many parents would rather have a girly-girl trans-daughter than a son that acts “gay.”

  • Hanakai

    Autism is not a behavior. Autism is a pathological condition, likely caused by a mutant gene and protein miscoding. Indeed, recent data shows that the higher a mother’s exposure to DDT, the more likelihood her offspring will be autistic. There is also data that greater paternal age (meaning more errors in RNA/DNA replication) is related to autism. Again, autism is a pathology of which characteristic behaviors are symptoms.

    As for animal behaviors, most of these are learned. For example, the resident orca whales of the Pacific Northwest have particular languages with which they communicate and each pod have its own dialect, enabling a whale to identify member of its own pod. This language is not genetic or inborn, but learned, passed on from elders to the young.

    Please get this: Genes code for proteins.

  • Brenn

    I’m a transsexual, and I don’t want to stick out or be noticed. Unless there is a reason for me to do so, I don’t reveal that. And I am fine with my body as it is now.

  • Hanakai

    Yes, before we will break bread with anyone, we say: “Show us your genitalia!”

  • Addy

    And even if it were true that transwomen would never commit these sorts of crimes (which I don’t believe for a second) we are still left with the problem of how to tell “real” transwomen from a man in a dress. How do we keep our spaces safe when the enemy hides among our so-called friends?

  • Hanakai

    You just do not want to listen or understand, do you?

    Every single biology and genetics professor I had emphasized that genes code for proteins, NOT behavior. Do you how genes work? Do you even know what amino acids are? Do you what a protein is? It seems that you lack a basic understanding of DNA/RNA replication and the biochemistry of cell replication and that may be why you keep repeating the same inane notion. Please study some genetics and biology and understand how DNA replicates, then you might have a clue. I do not have time to write a treatise to explain this rather complicated material in a simple enough way for non-scientists to grasp. But here are some starts:

    https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-are-traits-passed-on/

    https://publications.nigms.nih.gov/thenewgenetics/chapter1.html

  • Hanakai

    Maybe women do not want men involved in these discussions, as we are tired of hearing the idiotic and male supremacist viewpoint, and you men just waste our time. Instead of helping to dismantle the patriarchy, you just want attention the way males do, and you want us to laud your idiotic viewpoints. If you respected women, you would get out of our space.

    You do not even know what language hanakai is from. But again, like a stupid male supremacist, you assume and assume wrongly.

  • Amy Archie

    Thank you. I recently watched a video where Riley Dennis said something like “if you’re a woman who likes sex with womenthen go ahead by all means identify as a lesbian but remember that some women have penises”. Riley is an ass. First, I don’t need his permission to identify as a lesbian. Second, no, women don’t have penises. I’m a dyke. I don’t like the dick. I don’t have to justify myself to you Riley.

  • radwonka

    It is revelant because you use no argument at all, so I don’t see why others should convince you.

    • mail_turtle

      If you are referring to my initial question: it’s correct that there is no argument there (it’s a question, not an argument).

  • Zoë Lafantaisie

    Jenn is very clear and open about the fact that he is a man – makes no bones about it. He is helping in the fight against Canada’s biggest dickhead Mr. Morgane Oger who insists he is a woman and threatens women daily with human rights tribunal charges.

  • marv

    If the father was the primary caregiver at birth and beyond, the bond with the child would be as strong. Sexual politics has kept it from being normalized.

    The balance has been more than skewed, it is institutional for women not men to be the main custodians of children, suppressing equal opportunities. Advocating the role of natural drives in such a context shores up the inequality in child care.

    Men use the argument of natural drives to do many dubious things. Liberation often requires turning away from deep inclinations towards equal mutuality and children’s thriving socialization.

  • acommentator

    “I would point out to you that you WOULD NOT KNOW if a trans-identified male was effectively passing.”

    True, if you don’t notice, you won’t know you did not notice.

    I too know a TiM, a relative of mine in his 20s. He is no activist, and he bothers no one. He was never very masculine appearing, and he has had the operation and the hormones and all of it. But you would know he was not a woman.

  • acommentator

    I don’t see the analogy. Christianity does not tell Christians they should want to die. Quite the contrary, they are supposed to stick it out down here even through the worst of travails.

    (Also, some Christian men may be afraid of dying because they fear judgment in the afterlife.)

    Trans ideology tells straight men they should be willing to have relations and relationships with other men who identify as women. Liberal straight men pretend to believe it but don’t do it.

  • acommentator

    I admit it is lazy. I don’t know much about Iran. And I don’t care much about what Iranians believe on this subject. I am sure most Iranians feel the same way about people in the U.S. Two very different cultures coming out of very different histories.

    I do disagree that I could “easily read” about it. I think it would lake a fair amount of study to understand what Iranians think about this and how they came to think that way. I admit that I am too lazy to do that.

  • Meghan Murphy

    All comments are moderated so need to be approved manually, by a human…

  • radwonka

    Very interesting

  • Tobysgirl

    I love your screen name and agree with you, but I don’t like analyzing people’s attitudes when we are supposedly discussing a subject. I have to accept (to a degree) that what they are saying they actually believe. The last “progressive” I tried to discuss transgenderism with was utterly ignorant and I think her exposure had been limited to TIFs at the college she attended.

  • Meghan Murphy

    Yes, third wave feminism created this monster by insisting that anything anyone says, thinks, or experiences is true and valid and unchallengeable.

  • Meghan Murphy

    Men are stronger than women, in general, because they have more muscle mass. I have never heard of men stealing food from women… Do you mean you believe they did this pre-civilization? Or that you believe they do this currently?

  • Meghan Murphy

    A woman is an adult human female. Your personality does not define your sex.